What I think...

7 rules self-made millionaires live by

2008-05-31T17:30:00.000-07:00

Treat money as something to save and invest. The minute you receive your paycheck or a windfall (example, an inheritance or a bonus), think of how much you can put away as savings.
Assume some risk when investing. When you play safe in investing, you’ll get safe (but low) returns as well. Millionaires have gone out on a limb putting up businesses which they hoped would earn — nothing is guaranteed. But it is in taking calculated risks that they are rewarded.
Live simply. Some millionaires have lived in the same homes they have had for the past 30-40 years. Or they live in the homes they inherited. You can also take a cue from the way millionaires live: not all party every night, nor do they buy every new car model that’s released. Instead, you’ll find these millionaires working at their desks at 8 a.m. and having just two cars in the garage.
Have a goal. By being specific, you will be more motivated to reach your goal. For instance, make it your goal to have your own home by the time you are 35 or 40. It may be a studio condo unit or a three-bedroom home in a subdivision—it will depend on your income and how you save over the years. Having a goal will help you focus your efforts well.
Choose good debt over bad debt. Take out a loan only when the loan proceeds will be used to earn you more money. For instance, apply for a bank loan to expand a business that’s feasible.
Share your blessings. There seems to be a unique mathematical formula at work: The more you give, the more you are blessed back in return.
Train children to handle money well.

There is nothing on the list that says it will be easy. But it has been done. There are more millionaires around us than we think, and interestingly enough they are the ones who have simple clothes, eat in simple places and drive cars that are not flashy.

How to build your first budget

2008-05-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

Why you should care about budgets

Putting together a post-college budget is crucial if you don't want to spend your way into serious problems. You're also developing a habit that can serve you well throughout your life."You're committing to managing your money instead of letting your money manage you. You'll probably find it helpful to first track how you're spending money now. Review one of your recent bank statements to get an idea of your current monthly expenses and your monthly take-home pay. Then track every dime you spend for the next three or four days to learn where your discretionary money goes.

OK, now what?

What your budget looks like will depend on many factors, including what area of the country you live in. People in urban areas tend to spend more on housing than their country cousins, for example, while utility costs will be higher in the Northeast and Midwest than in balmy California.

The simplest way to budget may well be "The 60% Solution." The basic idea is that all your "essential" spending -- taxes, food, shelter, clothing and the rest -- comes out of the first 60% of your total, pretax income. The rest, in 10% chunks, is devoted to retirement savings, emergency savings (or debt repayment), short-term savings for irregular expenses (like holidays and car repairs), and fun money.

What if the numbers don't add up?

If you've done and redone your budget and you're still spending more than you make, then it's time for some radical rethinking. Here are the most likely culprits:

Housing: You'll notice this is the single biggest expense you face, so some cuts here can really make a difference. Consider getting another roommate, renting a room from a family member or even moving back with your own dear parents if you can't get this expense in line.

Transportation: If you have a car loan, you may have already busted the bank in this category.

Food: Basic groceries should cost a single person about $150 a month. You'll spend a lot more if you eat out frequently, however, or if you buy lots of processed foods, frozen dinners and gourmet stuff. Cut your food costs by bringing lunches and snacks from home.

Utilities: A cell phone, a big long-distance bill or a need to walk around your apartment in shorts in January can all put you over budget in this category. Shop around for cheaper long distance.

Personal: Let me guess. You're waaaaaay over budget in this category. The good news is that just about everything in this group represents a want, rather than a need. That means you can easily trim out the fat: Disconnect your cable or at least switch to basic; ditch the gym; find a cheaper haircut; carry (and spend) less cash and stop smoking.

Savings: You might have to temporarily trim this percentage to pay off credit card debt. But don't cut savings to spend on anything else. And make sure, if you're eligible for a 401(k), that you contribute as much as you can -- at least enough to get the full company match.
Debt: If you're like the average college graduate, you've got about $20,000 in student loans and $2,000 in credit card balances before you even get your first paycheck. Just making the minimum payments in this category can put you over budget.

Painless moves to save $1,000

2008-05-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

Look for discounted dinner entrees

Saving money doesn't mean you can't enjoy meals at your favorite restaurants. Discounts can be found in the mail, in your local newspaper or online.

Return unopened, unused items

Many times, extra money may be even closer at hand than you might think.

"If you're looking for extra money, your closets or drawers are a good place to start," says John Mruz, the president of Juggling Duck Organizers in Morristown, N.J.

Nearly everyone has a recently purchased product they will never use: the too-large blouse that still has the tag on it or an unopened set of salt-and-pepper shakers that didn't fit the kitchen decor. Try to return the item to get your money back, Mruz says.

Look for extra grocery savings

There are several opportunities to save at the local grocery store, even if you don't clip coupons.

"When you enter a store, check to see if there are sales ads located near the front," says Mehdikarimi.

You might find a coupon for a purchase you were planning to make. Just make sure the sales don't entice you to buy items that were not already on your shopping list. If you don't find any deals at the store's entrance, there's still a chance to save money at the checkout counter.

"Ask the cashier if there are any coupons or specials going on that would apply to any of your purchases," Mehdikarimi says.

Bundle cable, phone and Internet services

If you can't live without your cable, telephone and Internet access but the monthly bills are getting uncomfortably high, consider bundling all of your services under one company.

"With the competition for cable and Internet being so high, there's a good chance that you can negotiate a promotional rate," Mehdikarimi says.

Negotiate with monthly service providers

Once you get off the phone with your cable, Internet and telephone provider, call your alarm company, lawn-care person and any of your other monthly service providers to negotiate prices. Depending on where you live, you might even be able to negotiate natural-gas rates.

"Obviously, you're not going to get very far with monopoly utilities, but for the companies that have competition, you can definitely negotiate your price.

Stash money for easier savings next year

By making these barely noticeable changes to your lifestyle, you could save as much as $1,000 over the next year. But how could you increase your savings in future years?

Bill Billimoria, a personal-finance expert and the author of "On Golden Pond . . . Or Up the Creek?" suggests letting your cash work for you.

"Take the money you saved so far and put it into a high-interest savings account or mutual fund," he says. "Then let compounding interest do the magic."

If you place $1,000 in an account that pays a 7% annual return on investment, the original amount will nearly double after 10 years. That means twice the money for no extra work.

Saving money by doing "nothing" can be a very lucrative habit.

The best financial advice ever

2008-05-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

Advice on saving

"No matter how much or how little you make, always save a little bit."

This is a variation of "Pay yourself first" that Your Money poster "kesslergk" heard from a grandfather. It's a reminder that whatever money comes into your life, you can (and should) be setting aside some of it.

"Save hard for the first 10 years of your married life."

This is the advice Your Money poster "Talk2Me2"received from her mother (although to apply it to more people, I might amend it to, "Save hard for the first 10 years of your adult life" or "Keep living like a broke college student for as long as you can").

"Know the difference between needs and wants."

Several posters also mentioned different versions of this advice, which is key to controlling your spending. When you can't distinguish between real needs and mere wants, you're constantly talking yourself into spending too much.

"Think of the true cost."

Anything you want to buy involves a number of costs. The price tag is just the start.

"I see something that would look great on my table," poster "Mamasita99" wrote. "I have to give up the cash for it that won't be able to work for me somewhere else. Then I have to think of all the time and energy I'll waste cleaning this item, keeping it out of my kids' hands, and packing it up and hauling it somewhere else when we move in a year. Most of the time, the true cost of the item is too high for me."

"Don't pay interest on anything that loses value."

A bunch of posters cited variations on this theme of avoiding credit card debt and borrowing only to buy property or other assets that will appreciate.

"Don't co-sign a loan."

Co-signing puts your good credit in the hands of someone else -- who could trash it with a single late payment.

"If you need more money, then go out and make more money."

There are limits to how far you can scrimp and save. Often the fastest way out of debt and into wealth is generating more income.

Getting rich is simpler than you think

2008-05-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

Compounding

What is compounding?

Compounding is the reinvestment of the interest you receive from the money you set aside. For example, if you invest $1,000 and earn 10% interest on your principal at the end of each year, you'll get in $100 interest at the end of the first year. If you reinvest that interest, the second year you would start with $1,100, and thus would earn $110 interest. If you stay with it, you'd more than double your money every eight years.

Dollar-cost averaging

The process of continuously investing a fixed dollar amount is called dollar-cost averaging -- a term that sounds much more technical than it is. Through dollar-cost averaging, you'll end up buying more shares when a stock or fund is down, and fewer when it's up. For instance, say you're investing $500 monthly in a stock trading initially at $50 per share; so the first time, you buy 10 shares. If the next month the stock moves up to $62.50 your regular purchase will net you only eight shares. However, if the stock drops to $41.67, you'll get 12 shares (not including any transaction fees).

Risk

Sure, investing in the stock market has risk. There's always the chance the market will go nowhere for the next 20 or 30 years and you'll end up no better than where you started. But there's risk in everything, even CDs.

With CDs, your original investment isn't in danger. Most CDs are insured, and the federal government will step in and make you whole, even if your bank goes belly up.

Favorite Money Rules to Live by

2008-05-28T18:07:00.000-07:00

Retirement, Part I: "Save 10% for basics, 15% for comfort, 20% to escape." This rule of thumb works pretty well if you start to save for retirement by your early 30s. Saving at least 10% of your income ensures you won't be eating pet food. Fifteen percent should get you a more comfortable living, while 20% gives you a shot at an early retirement (and yes, you get to count employer contributions as part of your percentage). Wait just a decade to start, though, and you'll need 15% for basics and 20% for comfort; an early retirement may not be in the cards.

Retirement, Part II: "Retirement money is for retirement; until then, keep your mitts off it." There's rarely a good reason to borrow against your retirement accounts, and almost never a reasonable excuse for cashing them out. Look elsewhere to find money to pay your debts or buy a home. Let your retirement money keep working for you undisturbed. Someday, you'll be glad you did.

Student loans: "Your total borrowing shouldn't exceed what you expect to make your first year out of school." Many graduates have learned to their chagrin that student lenders will gladly loan you far more money than you can comfortably repay. Students and parents need to put their own limits on how deeply they go into debt, or they could face a literal lifetime of student-loan payments.

Credit cards: "If you carry a balance, look for the lowest rate. If you don't, get rewards at least equal to 1.5% of what you spend." Your primary goal if you carry credit card balances should be paying them off as quickly as possible. That means avoiding reward cards, which tend to have higher interest rates, in favor of the lowest-rate card for which you qualify, given your credit history. But if you already pay off your balances in full every month, you should look for cards that give you cash back or reward equal to 1.5% or more of your spending.

Priorities: "Retirement, then credit cards, then emergency fund." Your highest priority, typically, should be saving for retirement, since every dollar you fail to save today could cost you $10 or more in lost retirement income. (The younger you are, the more you'll lose by not tucking money away now.) Also, opportunities to get a 401(k) match or to fund an IRA or Roth IRA are typically "use it or lose it" propositions. Dispatching credit card debt should be your next highest priority, since it's probably accumulating at double-digit interest rates and reducing your financial flexibility (see above). Finally, an emergency fund equal to three to six months' worth of expenses can be a bulwark against the inevitable setbacks life sends us -- job loss, disability, illness, accidents, natural disasters. Having a pile of cash in a high-rate savings account can also do wonders for reducing your money anxieties.

9 money rules to live by

2008-05-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

The difference between needs and wants

Our actual needs are pretty limited: food, shelter, clothing, companionship. Just about everything else is a "want," and our wants are essentially endless. Because our resources are limited (see "scarcity," below), we have to make choices about which wants to fulfill.Also, the way we fulfill our needs involves a lot of choice.

Scarcity makes your choices for you

It's lovely to believe in a world of endless abundance, but the reality is that at any given point in time, our resources have limits. Whether it's oil in the ground, our time here on Earth or the cash in our pockets, there's only so much available to be spent.People who ignore this reality are the ones who run out of paycheck before they run out of month, or who extend their unsustainable spending by relying on credit cards, home equity loans and other reckless borrowing.

the pointlessness of the hedonic treadmill

This isn't the latest workout device at your gym. The hedonic treadmill means that we quickly adjust to improved circumstances. A raise at work or a new possession may make us happy for a little while, but we soon take our situation for granted. Our expectations continue to rise: if only I could get another raise, or a better car, or a bigger house. Should those expectations be satisfied, again we'd adjust and quickly want more.

Every money decision has a cost of its own

"Opportunity cost," very simply, means what we give up to get something else. In every choice, there's an opportunity cost. If you decide to go to college, for example, you're giving up the income you could have earned by working full-time during those years plus whatever you could have purchased with the money used to attend school. You also may take on loans to pay for school, which will have to be paid back with future income that could have gone for other purposes.

Why supply and demand rule

For the most part, prices are set by the interaction between supply and demand. If demand for something suddenly shoots up and the available supply of that something doesn't change, then prices will increase. If demand drops or supply increases, prices typically fall.

Throw no good money after bad

"Sunk costs" are expenses that have already been incurred and can't be recovered to any appreciable extent. "Sunk cost fallacy" means an irrational belief that a further investment of time, money or effort will somehow resurrect the value that's already disappeared.

The role risk plays

Every human endeavor carries some risk, and investments are no exception. What differs is the amount and type of risk and how you're compensated for taking it.

The 30-day Treasury bill, for example, is one of the "safest" investments around if you're solely concerned with getting back your original investment. The T-bill is backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government. But the average return on a 30-day T-bill over the past 80 years is just 3.7%, according to Ibbotson Associates. That's just above the historical 3% inflation rate for the same period; if you factor in taxes, you probably lost money.

the time value of money

This boils down to a relatively simple proposition: that the dollar I get today is worth more than a dollar I'm promised sometime in the future.

There are several reasons for this. One is the "bird in the hand" reality: the dollar I get today is real, but the dollar I'm promised in the future likely will be worth less (because of inflation), or I might not get it at all (you might renege on your promise to give it to me, or die, or cease operations if you're an employer or business).

The miracle of compound interest

This is a concept best illustrated by example. Let's say I give you a penny today, and promise to double the amount every day for a full month. How much money would I be giving you on the 31st day?The answer: $10.7 million.

5 things you should never rent

2008-05-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Rims. You can blame it on MTV's "Pimp My Ride" or simply a car culture gone crazy, but flashy chrome wheels are big. They're also expensive, typically costing $1,000 and up for a set. So a bunch of "rent to own" stores hawking rims and tires have sprung up to cater to those with expensive tastes and bad credit.

Furniture. Speaking of broke, you'll get there even faster and stay there longer if you decide to "upgrade" to rent-to-own furniture.

At Rent-A-Center in North Hollywood, Calif., you can rent an overstuffed Klaussner couch, love seat and coffee table for $44.99 a week for 83 weeks, which works out to about $2,000 more than the $1,657 the set would cost if you paid cash.

Computers. If you own a small business, leasing computers can make sense. You preserve precious capital, are able to upgrade more frequently and often get tech support from the leasing company.

When you're a consumer, though, renting is usually a terrible idea, especially if you're renting to own. Because there's usually no credit check, you get the worst possible terms on an overpriced computer. At the Van Nuys Rent-A-Center, a middling Dell computer rents for $39.99 a week for 62 weeks, or a total of $2,479. (The cash price is $1,100.)

Televisions. You can find a 50-inch Toshiba TV for around $1,200, sometimes less. At the Van Nuys Rent-A-Center, the cash price is $1,800. Or you can pay $34.99 a week for 116 weeks, or more than $4,000, for the beast.

There is no excuse for this, people. Go without, get a $25 set from your local Goodwill or take the 27-inch reject your idiot neighbor puts out on the curb when he gets his rental monster.

Your paycheck. If you fall into the clutches of a payday lender, your paycheck is no longer your own. These places work by lending you cash for a fee. The fee may not seem like much -- $45 to cash a $300 check -- but it works out to annual interest rates of over 400%.

What's Happening on Lost? Part 3

2008-05-27T17:44:00.001-07:00

What is Kate Doing?

"If Sawyer doesn't want anyone to know about Clementine, why would he tell Kate? To be honest, if he told anyone at all, I think he'd tell Jack... If no one at all knows, Clementine can't inherit anything that Sawyer's family would have received due to his being 'killed' in the crash. Her paternity would have to be made public, go through the courts, and everyone would know. I still think Kate is doing something illegal for him, which in the end is what will change her mind about them having to go back to the island when she has been so adamant that they can't and shouldn't—but if she's about to be arrested again and lose her son, she'd opt to go back and risk losing her son that way incase Claire is still alive."—jose

What's Happening on Lost? Part 2

2008-05-27T17:41:00.001-07:00

Remember Clementine?

"I think the sneaking around for Sawyer that Kate was doing is about his daughter, Clementine. Plus once Kate met Clementine's mom, I think she realized that she knew her from before and they became friends."—momtolil

What's Happening on Lost? Part 1

2008-05-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

Though no one really knows what is happening on Lost, we can't help but speculate and try to solve the many mysteries. What is the smoke monster? Are the Losties really dead? What's going on at the Orchid Station? Read on to find out iVillagers' theories on the show. Who knows... maybe they'll help you uncover the Lost truth.

Medical Mysteries

"When Jack is lying on the bed in his house, he DOES NOT have an appendix scar... There is no way Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse would forget that Jack had an appendix scar. And those stitches were big—not neat little stitches that would have disappeared over time. He would have a scar. It was no accident that he was in a towel, the focus was on his body, and in the same episode they are operating on his appendix. Maybe the island healed his scar?"—cl-sionanerin

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 8

2008-05-24T17:52:00.001-07:00

Relying on sunscreen to save you from skin cancer

Why is this healthy habit a bust? Because you’re probably doing it wrong. According to Dr. Francesca Fusco, spokeswoman for the Skin Cancer Foundation, people tend to not use enough sunscreen or use it consistently or use it early enough in life; they also often aren’t using a sunscreen that’s truly effective. Some of her tips for proper use include: Putting sunscreen on over any medication but under makeup; using the equivalent of a shot glass or two to cover your whole body—even under clothes—and then waiting at least 30 minutes before you go outside; and always using a sunscreen that contains the ingredient mexoryl. That last one is a biggie. Sunscreens without mexoryl—which is, to say, most of them—only protect against UVB wavelengths of light. But UVA waves are dangerous as well—possibly more so, considering that they can damage your skin without causing sunburn, leaving you unaware of your risk.

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 7

2008-05-24T17:51:00.001-07:00

Buying “all-natural” health products

Certain natural health products and supplements might have some value, but the label “all-natural” doesn’t necessarily mean “safe.” Don’t feel too bad if you’ve leapt to that conclusion, though. It’s such a common mistake that the Canadian National Health Network began an education program aimed at making sure consumers were aware of the risks inherent in natural health products. According to the CHN, some natural health products might be toxic if you take too much, others can trigger unexpected allergic reactions, and still others react badly with medically prescribed drugs or with individual health issues, like pregnancy or heart disease. And, while the CHN reviews and labels natural health products for safety, most of the ones in the U.S. haven’t been tested or proven effective. They can be sold as long as they don’t claim to be able to treat or cure a specific disease. The best thing to do, before you start taking any supplement or look into any alternative cure, is to talk to your doctor. He or she will be able to help you make the best decisions for your body.

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 6

2008-05-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

Drinking eight glasses of water a day

Admit it, this is one healthy habit that’s a royal pain. Luckily, it’s also completely unnecessary. For some people, eight glasses a day might actually be far too much, leading to sodium deficiencies and potentially life-threatening water intoxication, caused by kidneys not being able to keep up the intake of liquids. In 2002, a kidney specialist tried, in vain, to find any scientific evidence supporting the eight-glasses-a-day myth. His report, published in the American Journal of Physiology, concluded that this standard health advice was complete and utter bunk that, like many urban legends, stemmed from a tiny grain of truth. Apparently, the dietary guidelines provided by the Food and Nutrition Board of the National Research Council do say that humans need 1 milliliter of water for each calorie of food—adding up to about 10 cups a day. However, the same guidelines also say that we get most of this liquid from the water in solid food. There’s no need to drink more.

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 5

2008-05-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

Taking antioxidant supplements

They’re supposed to reduce your risk of cancer and heart disease and even diminish the effects of aging, but, if you take antioxidants as a pill or some other drug-like form, chances are they aren’t doing anything at all. The basic idea behind the hype is that antioxidants, chemicals found in fruits and vegetables, can help reduce damage to various parts of your body by balancing unstable chemicals known as free radicals.

Without antioxidants, free radicals start trying to stabilize themselves—often by swiping molecules from your DNA, damaging it in the process. So far, so good. The free radical-fighting power of antioxidants has been demonstrated in the lab and people who eat plant-heavy diets are less likely to suffer from the diseases linked to free radicals. But, as Dr. Lisa Melton wrote in an article in the August 2006 issue of New Scientist magazine, many studies have shown that people who get their antioxidants from popular supplements receive none of the health benefits. In fact, Melton cited a few studies that even suggested antioxidant supplements were leading to worse internal damage, including a 1992 study by the National Cancer Institute that had to be cancelled after the patients taking beta carotene supplements actually began developing higher rates of lung cancer than those taking sugar pills.

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 4

2008-05-24T17:46:00.001-07:00

Trusting your eyesight to carrots

If you think these vegetables will improve your vision, think again. While carrots do contain vitamin A, which is a major player in keeping your eyes working properly, you really only need a small amount of it—and no matter how much vitamin A you consume, it’s not going to magically eliminate your need for glasses. In fact, if you eat too much vitamin A, you can end up with a toxic—although not usually fatal—reaction. The idea that more carrots means better vision might actually be a relic of a World War II-era military disinformation campaign. According to the online World Carrot Museum, British intelligence began spreading the myth during the blitz as a plausible explanation for why their fighter pilots were suddenly able to spot Nazi planes at night. In reality, the British had simply developed a better radar system and didn’t want the enemy to find out about it.

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 3

2008-05-24T17:44:00.001-07:00

Following a low-fat diet

Significantly cutting the fat in your diet is supposed to lead to weight loss, cancer prevention and a healthier heart. Turns out, those promises might just be empty intellectual calories. In 2006, the Women’s Health Initiative—a several-billion dollar, eight-year study of the effects of low-fat diets—finally came to an end. The results were shocking. Not only did the women who followed “fat-free diets” show no decrease in cancer or heart disease rates compared to their fat-eating counterparts, but they also weren’t any skinnier. And, the researchers said, the study probably applied to men as well. If you follow the medical literature, however, there’ve been plenty of studies, dating back to the early 1990s, which show low-fat diets aren’t as effective as they’re made out to be. In fact, there’s even some evidence that the behaviors they inspire might be harmful. A 2007 study in the journal Human Reproduction found that women who carefully avoided full-fat dairy products were more likely to experience a certain type of infertility.

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 2

2008-05-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

Sitting up straight

According to a study presented in 2006 at the annual conference for the Radiological Society of North America, so-called “perfect” posture might actually be contributing to back pain. Go ahead, call your mom and gloat. But make sure you get your facts right. When this story first came out last November, many newspapers incorrectly reported that slouching was the better way to sit. The problem turned out to be a “slanguage” barrier. In England, where the story was first reported, “slouching” refers to reclining backward, which is, according to the study, a great way to relieve pressure on your lower back. Translated into American slang, however, the news reports gave many people the impression that hunching forward was healthy, when, in fact, it’s actually worse than sitting up straight.

Healthy Habits That Aren't Part 1

2008-05-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

Using anti-bacterial soap

You may be tempted to take a biological jackhammer to every microbe that dare touch your family, but the fact is there’s a lot we don’t know about the long-term effects of common, household use of anti-bacterials. According to the Centers for Disease Control, these chemicals have been shown, in the lab, to kill off only weak bacteria—leaving the tougher ones to reproduce. That’s led many medical experts to worry that anti-bacterial soaps might be contributing to the rise of stronger bacteria, capable of fighting off our attempts to kill it. So far, this theory hasn’t been proved in a real-life setting. What has been proved, however, is that washing your hands with anti-bacterial soap isn’t anymore effective at preventing disease than hand washing with regular soap. First reported in a 2004 study, published in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine, this discovery led a Food and Drug Administration Expert Advisory Council to announce the next year that there was no proof anti-bacterial soaps lived up to their advertising claims. Bottom line: It’s just not worth the risk.

Best Ways to Bump Up Your 'Good' Cholesterol Part 3

2008-05-24T17:37:00.001-07:00

Medication Therapy

Niacin, which is also known as nicotinic acid or vitamin B3. This is by far our best therapy for raising HDL levels. Studies have shown increases of 20 percent to 35 percent. Unfortunately, every rose has its thorn, and niacin has a big one called side effects (flushing, racing heart, etc). We often prescribe low doses in the beginning to minimize these effects. (There is also a non-prescription form of niacin called hexanicotinate, which may be better tolerated but is nowhere near as effective).

Fibrates, including fenofibrate and gemfibrozil. This category of medication has the potential to boost your HDL by up to 20 percent. Side effects may include upset stomach and diarrhea.

Statins. These are better known for their remarkable ability to lower the harmful LDL cholesterol. However, certain drugs within this class (atorvastatin, rosuvastatin and simvastatin) can raise HDL by up to 15 percent.

I am a big believer in taking charge of your health. Please know your HDL level and remember that simple changes can dramatically improve your health.

Best Ways to Bump Up Your 'Good' Cholesterol Part 2

2008-05-24T17:36:00.002-07:00

Cut back on simple carbohydrates. Cakes, cookies and highly processed cereals and breads are high-glycemic foods that can lower your HDL and raise the levels of another fat in your bloodstream, triglycerides.

Drink alcohol in moderation, with a caveat! Alcohol should not be considered medicine—if you don't drink, don't start—but some studies have found mild alcohol consumption (one drink per day for women, two for men) can raise HDL by up to four points. Important caveat: Alcohol may be harmful to those with liver or addiction problems. In these cases, the risks certainly outweigh the benefits.

Feast on cold-water fish. Eating salmon, mackerel or other fish from icy waters several times a week can have a very positive effect on your HDL levels. They contain omega-3 fatty acids, which may help to explain their health benefits.

Add fiber. The soluble fiber found in fruits, vegetables, nuts and grains might boost your HDL.

Avoid anabolic steroids. These decrease your HDL levels, in addition to all their other potential health dangers.

Best Ways to Bump Up Your 'Good' Cholesterol Part 1

2008-05-24T17:36:00.001-07:00

HDL cholesterol (the good cholesterol) helps to prevent our arteries from becoming blocked due to LDL (the bad cholesterol). It does this by "hauling" away the excess cholesterol lining the walls of our blood vessels, then bringing it back to the liver for reprocessing. This in turn helps to keep our arteries clear from a sticky build-up. And, if your levels of HDL are high enough (a level of 40 and above in males, 50 and above in females), it can also decrease your risk for a heart attack.

Raising HDL levels is important and I'll tell you why: For every one-point increase in HDL, there is a 3 percent decrease in a person's risk of suffering a fatal heart attack. There are two main ways to increase these levels: lifestyle modifications and medication therapy.

Lifestyle Modifications

Exercise. Just 20-30 minutes of aerobic exercise on most days of the week can jump-start your HDL in the right direction.

Break the tobacco habit. Quitting smoking can raise your HDL levels by about four points.

Lose weight. Losing 10 pounds can increase your HDL by one and a half points. Aim for a weight loss goal to achieve a body mass index (BMI) of 25 or below.

Choose the better fat. Minimize the saturated and trans fats in your diet. These substances increase the bad cholesterol while decreasing your good cholesterol. Instead, switch to products containing unsaturated fats (olive, canola, flaxseed, etc.). These may raise your HDL levels. However, this is not a free fatty-pass, because we still have to watch the calories!

5 Foods that Feed Cholesterol Part 3

2008-05-24T17:33:00.001-07:00

Baked goods

Many manufacturers of packaged cookies and cakes have eliminated trans fats from their recipes, but check the nutrition labels to be sure. But all baked goods—even those that are homemade—are high in saturated fats, thanks to the butter and shortening. Since no one wants to give up dessert completely, eat high-fat baked goods only occasionally, opting more often for low-fat sweets like sorbets.

5 Foods that Feed Cholesterol Part 2

2008-05-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

Processed meats

Bacon, sausage, liverwurst and the like are also wonderful sources of artery-clogging saturated fat. Look for lower-fat options, like bacon and sausage made from turkey and other lean protein sources.

Fast-food fries

Even worse than saturated fats are the dreaded trans fats. “You might as well take a gun and shoot yourself!” says Dorfman. The main source of trans fats are partially hydrogenated oils, and that’s exactly what most fast-food restaurants are still using to cook their fries. Trans fats hit cholesterol with a double whammy—in addition to raising your LDL, they simultaneously lower your HDL.

Tropical oils

Palm kernel and coconut oils are two of the fattiest of oils—100 percent of the bad-for-you saturated variety. Don’t use them when you cook at home, and try to avoid them when you eat out (most fast-food restaurants have eliminated them, but you can check their Web sites for detailed nutritional information). Use heart-healthy mono- and polyunsaturated fats, like olive, canola and safflower oil, instead.

5 Foods that Feed Cholesterol Part 1

2008-05-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

There’s no denying that a healthy diet is the first line of defense against rising cholesterol. “If you eat a predominantly plant-based diet—with lots of fruits and vegetables plus some fish—you are on the right track to keeping your cholesterol at a healthy level,” says Lisa Dorfman, a registered dietitian and spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. That said, certain so-called super-foods can actually help lower bad cholesterol and/or increase the good cholesterol. Ideally, you want to shoot for total cholesterol under 200, with LDL (the bad one) under 110 and HDL (the good one) greater than 35.

Try to reduce—or better yet, eliminate—these bad-for-you foods from your repertoire:

Whole-milk dairy products

Saturated fat, which clogs arteries and increases LDL levels, is the No. 1 cholesterol-boosting culprit. And foods like ice cream and cheese are where you’re likely to find them. Swap out the Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby for a lower-fat frozen yogurt, and skip the brie in favor of something less rich, like a part-skim mozzarella.

5 Foods That Fight Cholesterol Part 5

2008-05-24T17:28:00.001-07:00

Soy

Soybeans, soy nuts and edamame, plus any products made from soy (like tofu, soymilk, etc.) can help to reduce the production of new cholesterol. A little can go a long way—aim for about 25 grams of soy protein a day (the amount in a cup of edamame). And those who are at an increased risk of breast or prostate cancer may want to skip it since too much of soy’s phyto-estrogens can act similarly to the body’s own estrogen (which has been shown to feed some hormone-dependent tumors).

5 Foods That Fight Cholesterol Part 4

2008-05-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

Red wine

Not everything that’s good for you has to feel virtuous. A glass of red wine, which contains flavanols, has been shown to have anti-inflammatory properties that may help lower cholesterol and stave off heart disease. But in this case, more is definitely not better. “For women, the recommendation is one drink a day and for men it’s two,” says Bonci. More than that will, literally, dilute any potential benefits. These flavanols can also be found in red grape juice and dark cocoa.

5 Foods That Fight Cholesterol Part 3

2008-05-24T17:24:00.000-07:00

Fish

Omega-3 fatty acids are widely considered to be the best of the “good” fats, and the best place to find them is in fish—especially fatty fishes like salmon, halibut and tuna. According to Dorfman of the ADA, you want to get 1.5 to 3 grams per day of omega-3. A 4-ounce piece of salmon will give you close to 3 grams, and you can also get these fatty acids from walnuts and flaxseed (two tablespoons of flaxseed provides 3.5 grams) and in fish oil supplements.

5 Foods That Fight Cholesterol Part 2

2008-05-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

Oatmeal

You’ve seen the commercials with people proclaiming dramatic drops in their cholesterol numbers thanks to a daily serving of this hot cereal. Those great results are due to the high levels of soluble fiber found in oatmeal. “The soluble fiber binds to the bile acids that are the precursor to the development of cholesterol and help flush it out,” explains Bonci. It doesn’t matter how you get your oats—those instant, just-add-water packets are just as good for you as traditional, slow-cooked versions.

5 Foods That Fight Cholesterol Part 1

2008-05-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

Try to incorporate more of these foods into your daily diet:

Almonds

Studies have found that eating just a quarter cup of almonds a day can lower your LDL by 4.4 percent, according to dietitian Leslie Bonci, who is also the director of sports nutrition at University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. “Eating nuts, especially almonds, which are high in good-for-you monounsaturated fat, is better than simply eating a low-fat snack like pretzels,” says Bonci. Of course, they can also be high in calories, so stick with a small serving and choose almonds that are dry roasted without oil.

Can Eating Oranges Save Your Skin?

2008-05-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

Vitamin C may help you look younger.

Searching for a way to look young for your age? Hit the produce aisle, suggests new research in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Analyzing data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey I (NHANES I)—a survey that asks people to quantify how often they eat various foods—researchers from Unilever linked consuming plenty of vitamin C-rich foods (such as oranges, tomatoes and strawberries) with youthful skin. "Our findings suggest that a higher intake of vitamin C from foods is associated with a lower risk of having wrinkled skin and age-related skin dryness in [middle-aged] women," says Maeve Cosgrove, Ph.D., who led the research.

Vitamin C’s youthful effects on skin may be due to its antioxidant properties, which help protect against ultraviolet rays, and its role in keeping skin firm via collagen synthesis, say the researchers.

Bottom line: Eating more vitamin-C rich foods, such as oranges, tomatoes, strawberries and broccoli, may be a secret to smoother skin.

To Tan or Not to Tan? Part 6

2008-05-24T17:18:00.001-07:00

Does tanning cause cancer?

“It’s burning that really contributes to skin cancer, which is why we think that tanning beds are safer than the sun,” says Longwell. “You can get moderate exposure in a controlled environment.” It’s true that burns are associated with increased risk of melanoma. In fact, a single severe sunburn in childhood can double your risk of developing melanoma as an adult.

But others maintain that you don’t necessarily have to burn to do damage. By its very definition, a tan is damage to the skin. The UV light is absorbed by the DNA, and part of the body’s response to that damage is to stimulate melanin synthesis (that’s how the skin gets darker). “Even a little is bad,” says Cohen, “and chronic, unprotected exposure—such as you’d get by regularly going to a tanning salon—not only results in premature skin aging, but it also increases the risk of skin cancer.”

To Tan or Not to Tan? Part 5

2008-05-24T17:17:00.003-07:00

Can you get “addicted” to tanning?

“Researchers have looked at tanning behavior and seen a link with other addicting-type behaviors,” says Cohen. “There is an endorphin rush associated with UV exposure. Plus, I think there’s a sense of wanting to feel like you’re getting your money’s worth.” According to a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, all tanning salons offer unlimited tanning packages, and 95 percent of them allow customers with unlimited plans to tan as frequently as they want.

Despite the prevalence of unlimited tanning packages, Longwell contends that her organization is committed to spreading a message of moderation. “We want to tell people, ‘Do this in moderation and you’ll be fine; just don’t do it too much,’” she says. “When you see stories of people who are ‘addicted’ to tanning, it’s always someone who’s engaging in behavior that’s completely over the top.”

What it means to be a carcinogen

In 2005, the National Institute of Health labeled exposure to sun beds as a known carcinogen. And in this year’s annual Report on Carcinogens from the agency it states: “Exposure to sunlamps or sunbeds is known to be a human carcinogen, based on sufficient evidence of carcinogenicity from studies in humans, which indicate a causal relationship between exposure to sunlamps and sunbeds and human cancer.” It goes on to say that epidemiological studies have shown a correlation between exposure to sunbeds and an increased risk of melanoma and that “the longer the exposure, the greater the risk, especially in people exposed before the age of 30.”

The ITA responds by providing the complete list of substances which the NIH has rated as carcinogens, in an effort to show that many common substances (such as coal tar, which is found in some dandruff shampoos) also make the list.

To Tan or Not to Tan? Part 4

2008-05-24T17:17:00.001-07:00

Indoor vs. outdoor sun

According to Longwell, one of the ITA’s goals is “to make sure people aren’t scared off or misled by bad information.” Among that “bad information,” she cites an oft-quoted statistic that tanning beds are up to 15 times stronger than the sun’s rays. She says that that statistic was gleaned from one study of one bed, and that it is not indicative of most currently used beds. “They are stronger than the sun—about twice as strong—and that’s why you can get color in a shorter amount of time than you would outside,” she says. But according to a study published last year in the International Journal of Cancer, the doses of UV radiation from sunbeds may be as much as five times stronger than natural sunlight—which would mean that 20 minutes in a tanning bed delivers UV radiation equivalent to two to three hours in the midday sun.

What the government thinks

Tanning beds fall under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and the Federal Trade Commission—agencies which set requirements for equipment performance standards and safety considerations such as protective eyewear. But in the past few years there have been attempts to do more to mandate the use of tanning beds. Twenty-five states currently have restrictions on teens’ use of tanning (mostly requiring a parent to write a note of consent or to accompany anyone under 18). The World Health Organization has proposed a complete ban on indoor tanning for anyone under age 18.

And last fall, the U.S. House and the Senate passed the Tanning Accountability and Notification Act. The TAN Act requires the FDA to re-examine the warning labels on tanning beds to ensure that it communicates the possible risks.

To Tan or Not to Tan? Part 3

2008-05-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

Getting your vitamin D

Studies linking vitamin D with decreased rates of bones fractures, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, high blood pressure, and various types of cancer, have further complicated the controversy over whether tanning is good or bad for you. And there is plenty of compelling evidence that getting more vitamin D is a positive thing. An article published this year in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences examined the issue and concluded that although “a significant fraction of cutaneous malignant melanomas is related to sun exposure,” “There may be more beneficial than adverse effects of moderately increased sun exposure.”

Other studies, however, have concluded that dietary sources—in addition to the several minutes of incidental sun exposure most people get daily—are the better way to maintain adequate vitamin D levels. “Daily intake of two glasses of fortified milk or orange juice or one standard vitamin supplement is enough to generate normal vitamin D levels,” Cohen says. “I would recommend getting your vitamin D from your diet and your tan from a bottle.”

To Tan or Not to Tan? Part 2

2008-05-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

Here, both sides weigh in on some of the most hotly contested issues in the tanning debate.

The base tan controversy

It is the position of the ITA that regular, moderate use of tanning beds is a good thing—especially if that “base tan” prevents you from burning. “Going in every day for a week—for very short periods of time—before going on vacation is going to protect your body from that shock of going into the sun for the first time after a winter of no exposure,” says Longwell.

While dermatologists agree that burning is bad—numerous studies have linked incidence of bad sunburns with increased skin cancer risk—few agree with premise that the solution is to get more UV exposure. “A base tan is giving you a false sense of security that you won’t burn, but in fact, a base tan provides only about the sunscreen equivalent of SPF 3,” says Joel Cohen, a clinical assistant professor of dermatology at University of Colorado. “So not only is it providing very little protection, maintaining that tan requires exposing yourself to more and more UV radiation.” The better solution: Cohen urges people not only to wear sunscreen, but also not to spend their vacation days simply baking on the beach.

To Tan or Not to Tan? Part 1

2008-05-24T17:14:00.001-07:00

The Indoor Tanning Association, which represents thousands of tanning salon owners across the United States, recently ran a full-page ad in The New York Times aiming to “dispel the myth that moderate exposure to ultra-violet radiation is deadly.”

The reason? “Our membership is fed up with being constantly demonized and maligned by the sunscreen industry and dermatologists,” says Sarah Longwell, the organization’s director of communications.

Whether this demonization is fair is a matter of ongoing debate between indoor tanning advocates (primarily those who own and run tanning salons) and dermatologists (most of whom advocate shunning all forms of UV light). And while each side has been accused of twisting the truth to their own benefit, some statistics may speak for themselves:

Indoor tanning is a big business that generates about $5 billion annually in the U.S.
About 1 million people—70 percent of them Caucasian women aged 16 to 49—frequent a tanning salon per day.
Incidence of skin cancer is rising faster than that of any other type of cancer, according to a study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
Each year, there are an estimated 1 million new cases of non-melanoma skin cancer and 60,000 cases of malignant melanoma.

Seven Surprising Skin Sins Part 7

2008-05-24T17:03:00.001-07:00

The surprising saboteurs: Your afternoon double cappuccino
Why they’re bad for your skin: A recent study found that the naturally occurring hormones in cow’s milk may be linked to acne. “They may trigger an over-production of testosterone-like hormones in your body,” says NYC derma Albert M. Lefkovits. “As a result, your skin creates more oil, which makes you break out.” It’s also possible that the iodine given to cows to prevent infections winds up in their milk, and when we drink it, it aggravates acne, says Harvey Arbesman, MD, clinical assistant professor of dermatology and social and preventive medicine at the University of Buffalo.

What you can do: If you’re still battling zits, even though you’ve been following an anti-acne regimen for at least a month and using stronger prescription treatments, ask your doc if you also should cut down on dairy products to control breakouts, says Dr. Gordon.

Seven Surprising Skin Sins Part 6

2008-05-24T17:02:00.004-07:00

The surprising saboteurs: Secondhand smoke (especially in a crowded bar or party)
Why they’re bad for your skin: Dermatologists at Clinique Laboratories have found that exhaled smoke can be even more harmful to your face than the smoke can be even more harmful to your face than the smoke they’re inhaling since those clouds contain significant levels of nicotine, tar, and carbon monoxide. When the smoke hits your skin, it triggers the release of wrinkle-causing free radicals, says Tom Mammone, executive director of Clinique biological research and development. You’re most at risk if you live with a smoker or hang out in smoky places more than thrice a week.

What you can do: When you can’t avoid sharing airspace with smokers, make sure there’s ventilation in the room to dilute airborne toxins. Also, dermas say that sudsing up as soon as you get home may prevent more free-radical damage.

Seven Surprising Skin Sins Part 5

2008-05-24T17:02:00.003-07:00

The surprising saboteurs: Your-on-the-go makeup brushes
Why they’re bad for your skin: As long as you’re using non-comedogenic products, you usually won’t break out—even if you use the leftover product on your brush. However, leaving your tools unwashed more than a week can cause unwanted blemishes. Ideally, you should clean and dry your brushes thoroughly after each use, says Dr. Sumilang. “This lessens the chances of bacteria and fungus to thrive.”

What you can do: Make sure you wash the brushes you use for creams and liquid ASAP, since germs multiply faster in damp conditions. Sanitize them after each use by placing a few drops of brush cleaner on a cotton ball and swirling it around the bristles until it’s visibly clean. Or, you can also wash them with a mild shampoo or facial cleanser at least once a week. Tip: To help retain their shape and keep brushes fungus-free, lay them flat on a clean towel post-wash. Make sure they’re completely dry before you pack ‘em in your makeup kit.

Seven Surprising Skin Sins Part 4

2008-05-24T17:02:00.001-07:00

The surprising saboteurs: Your love of exfoliating scrubs and peels
Why they’re bad for your skin: Using strong peels and exfoliators more than twice a week can irritate your skin and accelerate the signs of aging, says Diana Howard, Ph.D. Sounds severe, but repeated inflammation from harsh products can cause a chain reaction that breaks down your skin’s dermis—where the collagen and elastin fibers are—so it ages much more quickly.

What you can do: If your skin is red and inflamed, stop scrubbing and just use a mild cleanser plus an SPF 15 moisturizer since your skin is more susceptible to sun damage, says Howard. Try Murad Correcting Moisturizer, P1,450. In the future, here’s how much you can slough, depending on your skin type, according to San Francisco derma Kathy Fields: Acne-prone skin can be exfoliated daily as long as the formula clearly says it’s meant for everyday use. Normal complexions can be buffed two to three times a week with a mild microbead version.

Seven Surprising Skin Sins Part 3

2008-05-24T17:01:00.002-07:00

The surprising saboteurs: Going to a bargain facialist
Why they’re bad for your skin: It’s tempting to get a cheapie facial at a skincare clinic at the mall, but what you’re risking is definitely not worth the couple of hundred pesos you’ll be saving. Infections, burns, and scarring can occur at the hand of an inexperienced person. It’s better to go to a clinic with a licensed dermatologist who will personally attend to you, explains Dr. Sumilang. “While a dermatologist-trained staff member can remove blackheads and whiteheads, trust only a dermatologist to do acne surgery since the wrong technique can aggravate breakouts.”

What you can do: When you just want a standard facial and your skin isn’t sensitive or acne-prone, then it’s okay to go to an inexpensive (but reputable) clinic or spa, says Chicago dermasurgeon Carolyn Jacob. However, be extra careful about more invasive treatments like microdermabrasion, chemical peels, and lasers. These procedures require more training and expertise, so your safest bet is to visit a board-certified dermatologist or head to a medi-spa that’s overseen by an on-site derma, says Dr. Jacob. Tip: Ask your friends or titas to recommend their tried-and-tested dermas to make sure you’re in good hands.

Seven Surprising Skin Sins Part 2

2008-05-24T17:01:00.001-07:00

What you can do: Ward off stress by carving out at least two hours once a week to bond with your buds in person, says Dr. Murad. Also, in addition to a stellar skincare routine, Dr. Murad recommends eating lots of fruits, veggies, and fish. These foods possess anti-inflammatory properties, which help to keep your complexion under control, even when your life isn’t.

The surprising saboteurs: The windows in your workplace or car
Why they’re bad for your skin: If you think that you’re safe from the sun under the confines of a roof, you’re wrong. The American Academy of Dermatology recently realeased a warning stating that overexposure to sunlight can happen indoors, too. Indoor lights can mimic the undue effects of prolonged exposure to the sun, and the harsh UV rays can also penetrate through thick glass, explains Dr. Liberty Sumilang of the Philippined Dermatological Society. “Even car tint may not be able to completely filter the harmful rays of the sun,” she adds.
What you can do: Wear at least SPF 15 every day—even when it’s cloudy outside. Going on a road trip or commuting? Apply sunscreen on exposed skin. And if possible, arrange your desk so you aren’t in direct sunlight or pull down your window shades during the peak hours of 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Lastly, look for sunglasses that have the “100 Percent UV Protection” sticker.

Seven Surprising Skin Sins Part 1

2008-05-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

Yup it hurts—you follow all the beauty rules (like washing off makeup before crashing and avoiding the sun) but you still wake up with a less-than-stellar complexion. Here are seven sneaky practices that could be coming between you and a great reflection.

The surprising saboteurs: Your constant cellphone chats
Why they’re bad for your skin: You may have thought the only drawback to your wireless gossip sessions was the bill. But a new study by Howard Murad, MD, associate clinical professor of dermatology at UCLA, found that having fewer face-to-face conversations with your friends, combined with the pressure to keep up with the increasingly fast pace of life, can cause what he calls cultural stress. According to Dr. Murad, stress is often responsible for many physical annoyances, like excess oil production, reduced circulation, and water loss in your skin-cell walls, all of which can lead to breakouts, dullness, and dehydration.

Find the Right Foundation Part 2

2008-05-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

You need to: Combat dryness.

Look for: A creamlike foundation with antioxidants to replenish lost moisture and leave you glowy (but not greasy) all day.

Try: Almay TLC Truly Lasting Color 16 Hour Makeup Skin Nourishing Longwear SPF 15, $12.49.

You need to: Even out everything.

Look for: A fluid matte base with light-reflecting particles to mask sunspots, sallowness, and under-eye circles.

Try: Chanel Mat Lumière Long-Lasting Soft Matte Makeup SPF 15, $52.

Find the Right Foundation Part 1

2008-05-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Confused about which cover-up is best for you? Read on.

You need to: Hide blemishes.

Look for: An oil-free fluid that won’t clog pores but helps conceal redness — even better if it has an acne-fighting ingredient, like salicylic acid.

Try: Neutrogena Skin Clearing Oil-Free Makeup, $11.49.

You need to: Minimize fine lines.

Look for: A lightweight base with soy to firm up wrinkle-prone spots, like the corners of your eyes and mouth.

Try: Estée Lauder Resilience Lift Extreme Ultra Firming Makeup SPF 15, $33.50.

Your Hair Dilemmas, Solved! Part 5

2008-05-23T17:04:00.001-07:00

Q. I've been using at-home color kits for a year, and now my ends are darker than the rest of my hair. Why is this happening?
A. Since the bottom inches of your hair are drier than the rest of your mane (especially since you've been chemically treating them), they absorb more color and require less time to process than the rest of your hair, says Monika Sullivan, owner of Studio Biba in Atlanta. That's why it's a good idea to deep condition your ends the day before you dye them. Also, if you apply hair color to your whole head every month or so, you'll end up coloring the older hair (the ends) much more than the newer hair on top, so over time, the ends will get darker. To fix: Apply a semipermanent hair color in the shade closest to your ends to your root area only.

Q. I've heard it's bad to brush your hair a lot. Is this true?
A. Teen beauty queen Marcia Brady may have followed the 100-strokes-a-day rule, but then again, she also worshiped Davy Jones from the Monkees! In reality, overbrushing can actually hurt your hair by wearing off the outer cuticle and overstimulating your scalp's oil glands. But the right amount of brushing will dislodge scalp flakes, get rid of product buildup and increase shine. All you need are 10 to 20 strokes a day with the proper brush. "The best brushes have a mix of synthetic and natural bristles, which gently distribute the oils down from your scalp," says Pipino. Two to try: Sephora Smoothing Hair Brush, $48, and Denman D81, $21.

Your Hair Dilemmas, Solved! Part 4

2008-05-23T17:03:00.003-07:00

Q. Is it possible to heal damaged hair? If your strands are already dead, how can you feed them nutrients?
A. Since your locks don't have a digestive system, it's impossible to feed them nutrients from a bottle. What shampoos and conditioners can do is help stressed-out tresses look healthier by coating the cuticle and even filling in holes with ingredients like fatty acids, proteins, and silicone. This will make each strand look shinier and feel softer, says Mackin. The best way to repair dry, damaged hair and prevent future breakage (other than cutting it off) is by using an intensive deep conditioner once a week. Look for one that contains proteins or acids to help strengthen weak strands and moisturizers to hydrate and soften. We like Frédéric Fekkai Protein Rx Reparative Treatment Mask, $52, and Garnier Fructis Fortifying Deep Conditioner, $3.99.

Q. How does snipping split ends help your hair grow from the root?
A. Cutting your mane doesn't make it grow, but frequent trims ensure healthy locks. Frayed ends will continue to split up the hair shaft, making your hair weak and vulnerable to breakage. Trims prevent that breakage, so even when you're aiming for longer locks, you need to cut off a quarter of an inch every six weeks. Oh, and if you're thinking of cutting them on your own, don't you dare. "If your scissors aren't sharp enough, you can end up making the split ends even worse," says Pipino. While frequent snipping may make the growing process seem longer, it'll be worth the wait since your hair will be full and strong when it does reach your desired length.

Your Hair Dilemmas, Solved! Part 3

2008-05-23T17:03:00.001-07:00

Q. My hair gets so staticky this time of year. What can I do to tame it?
A. Static strikes your strands when they become electromagnetically charged due to a lack of moisture in the air. Vigorous brushing and wool hats make it worse. Try switching to a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner during the winter, and follow up with a leave-in conditioner, says Dianna Sandonato, director of product testing at Matrix. Try Biolage Ultra-Hydrating Shampoo, $11.99, and Balm, $15.99. Another flyaway fighter: Spritz Static Guard onto your brush, let dry, then give strands a few swipes. Also spray some on the inside of your hat before you wear it to prevent a static attack.

Q. Can taking vitamins make my hair healthier?
A. Getting enough of certain vitamins, especially B vitamins such as biotin and folic acid, is essential for having strong, healthy hair. You should be able to get plenty of these nutrients from a balanced diet that includes such B-rich foods as salmon, eggs, and dark, leafy greens. But if you're not certain you're getting enough nutrients from your diet, you may want to take a daily vitamin pill to ensure that your strands stay in shape, says Audrey Kunin, MD, president of Dermadoctor.com. Look for multivitamins that contain at least 100 percent of the recommended daily allowance of vitamin B. Try Olay Vitamins Complete Woman's Multivitamin, $9.

Your Hair Dilemmas, Solved! Part 2

2008-05-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

Q. More hair than usual is coming out when I shampoo (the shower drain is totally clogged). Am I going bald?

A. Don't panic — most likely you are not losing your hair for good, assures Christopher Mackin, resident trichologist at Gil Ferrer Salon in NYC. You normally lose between 70 and 120 strands a day. Altering your diet, starting or ending a medication, or experiencing a lot of stress in the last three months can cause more to fall out, but that type of hair shedding is only temporary. If there isn't any obvious reason why you're losing strands, visit your doctor to rule out a thyroid problem. Regardless of the cause of your hair loss, start massaging your scalp every time you suds up. Doing so increases the blood flow to your follicles and promotes healthy hair growth.

Q. I had my curly hair blown out pin-straight at the salon. It looked fantastic, so I bought the same brush and styling products my stylist used, but I can't manage to re-create the look. What's up?

A. "You brought the brushes and products home with you but not the stylist," says Ric Pipino, owner of the Pipino salons in New York City and Miami. Beyond the fact that a pro gets more practice than you ever will, there are several advantages that your stylist has over you. "Since we stand above you, we're able to work at a downward angle, which is ideal for straightening hair," says Pipino. "It allows us to create the tension to stretch out the curl." Since you can't work on your own head from above, you should keep the nozzle aimed down the hair shaft so the cuticle lies flat and reflects more light. Finally, your stylist doesn't have to hold his arms up in the air like you do, so he doesn't get tired after five minutes. To avoid wearing out your arms, keep in mind that pros spend the first 80 percent of the styling process just blow-drying haphazardly before they begin the meticulous sleekening strategy, says Rottenberg. "Don't bother starting to straighten when it's still sopping wet — that takes forever."

Your Hair Dilemmas, Solved! Part 1

2008-05-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

The only thing that baffles us more than boys is our hair. We receive tons of e-mail from readers with troubling tress questions. Read on for the answers to some of the most common (and bizarre) ones.

Q. Why does my hair look totally fabulous one day but crappy the next, even when I style it the same way?
A. Just like snowflakes, no two hair days are identical. Subtle switches in your styling routine plus the weather can change the way your do looks from day to day, says Scott Rottenberg, stylist at Tiffani Kim Institute on the Park in Chicago. While it's obvious that humidity causes frizz, you may not know that really dry air can also make your hair puffy. Plus, when your body heats up (like on a hot day), your scalp perspires slightly, and as a result, your hair can look flat. As for styling, keep consistent by making sure you're rinsing out all of your shampoo and conditioner and using the same blow-drying technique and amount of products every day.

The Truth About Long-Term Weight Loss Part 4

2008-05-23T17:00:00.001-07:00

If you keep exercising, you may find that over the years your body fat levels go down significantly. There have not been enough long-term studies looking at how years and years of exercise affect body weight, but it’s known that regular exercisers are rarely obese. And even if you stay a few pounds heavier than you’d like to be, you will always be healthier if you are consistently active.

The key to maintaining your weight loss is sticking to better eating and regular exercise. To do that, you need to stay motivated. Knowledge is power. And if you keep informed on the latest findings on weight loss, nutrition and fitness, you’ll find the inspiration to carry on. You can succeed and feel better than you ever have before!

The Truth About Long-Term Weight Loss Part 3

2008-05-23T16:59:00.003-07:00

But your environment, and more importantly, how you respond to it is something you can control. Some people who strive to lose weight may simply have a physiology that means it will always feel like a struggle to eat well and exercise. But many people who have been able to stick to healthier living for a long time swear that it gets easier the longer you do it.

So, if it’s so hard to keep off what you’ve already lost, can you lose even more?

Yes, although you may have limits. It’s not uncommon to experience a plateau in weight loss, especially after about six months. The body may require an adjustment period to get used to the weight loss. Keep in mind that most body systems aim to remain in a steady state, or what is known as homeostasis. Perturbing the body with continued weight loss goes against this grain. So you may need to stay in a temporary holding pattern at some point in the future, where you focus on maintaining your weight loss, rather than losing more.

Very overweight people often have unrealistic expectations about how much weight they expect to lose. A 300- or 250-pound person may want to lose 100 pounds, but may find that they seem to be able to lose less than half that. If you’re physically fit enough to increase exercise levels dramatically, you may be able to decrease more. On the other hand, if you can diet down and drop more weight, but you constantly yo-yo, it may be better to accept a sustainable weight loss. It’s still healthier to be 25 pounds less and maintain that loss than to lose vast amounts of weight—then regain it—and continue to yo-yo back and forth on a dieting spiral where you may end up at an even heavier weight than you started at. While a smaller, more realistic weight loss may not make you as slim as you wish, you will still have improved your health dramatically. Your medical profile (blood pressure, cholesterol and insulin sensitivity) can improve with as little as a 5 percent weight loss.

The Truth About Long-Term Weight Loss Part 2

2008-05-23T16:59:00.001-07:00

Most people look for the best diets to lose weight. But what scientists have realized is that losing weight is the easy part. Most diets, healthy or not, do work. You can drop pounds fairly quickly, especially the more overweight you are . But no matter how you lose the weight, the real challenge is to keep it off long-term.

If you’ve been overweight or obese for two years, 10 years, or 20 years, a short-term diet or fitness plan won’t solve your problem. Obesity is a chronic disorder which requires a long-term approach. What you can’t do is follow a program such as the Lose 10 Pounds in 5 Weeks plan, and then revert back to those behaviors that made you overweight or obese in the first place. Once you’ve lost weight and you are trying to maintain the loss, or lose even more, you will find that, at times, it will be difficult. But, you will also experience periods where you enjoy eating more healthfully and your exercise sessions feel easy.

Beware of being disillusioned. Many books, magazines and weight-loss products trying to motivate you into buying their plans purposefully make things sound easier than they are. Yes, you can lose weight and keep it off. You can get fit and stay fit. But is it as easy as spending a few minutes per week using an exercise gizmo? Or will one simple diet food or supplement do the trick? No.

You are going to have to stay disciplined—and keep finding ways to stay motivated to do so. You’ll be faced with temptations and you’ll have to find ways to resist or avoid them. In today’s busy world, environmental factors such as fast-food chains everywhere and too many sedentary activities like TV-watching, driving and using computers, lead you to eat more and exercise less.

The Truth About Long-Term Weight Loss Part 1

2008-05-23T16:58:00.000-07:00

You should know that the odds are against you. Most people who lose weight gain it all back. But this doesn’t mean that you are destined to become such a statistic. There are people who do experience long-term weight-loss success. To be one of them, you need to realize that it is possible to keep the weight off—and even to lose more. But since it may be difficult at times, you need to be realistic and plan how you’ll overcome the struggles.

I think that it’s important to be told the real deal. If you’re aware of what it takes to lose and keep weight off and then you commit to doing it, you will succeed. It’s as simple as that.

The body’s physiological response to losing weight may mean that you feel hungrier than normal, or think of food more often. Or you may feel lazier and inclined to reduce all your spontaneous activity (jumping up to do run errands, putting extra vigor into housework, playing with your kids or pets), thereby preserving energy. It appears that the body’s tendency to revert back to previous body weight can be triggered even from losing just five to 10 percent of your starting weight. So if you weighed 200 and lost 10 to 20 pounds or you weighed 150 pounds and lost 8 to 15 pounds, you may have to work hard in order to maintain that loss.

Wacky Beauty Tips That Work Part 5

2008-05-21T22:09:00.001-07:00

26) Shave with Conditioner
Ran out of shaving cream? Do double duty by coating your stems with a thick hair conditioner. It softens the hair so it's easier to shave off and makes legs feel amazingly silky.

27) Amp Shine with Vinegar
Mix one part vinegar with four parts carbonated water, and soak dry hair. Leave on for 15 minutes before you shampoo to lock in shine and combat dullness.

28) Exfoliate Your Pits
If your underarms start to look dry and flaky, an easy trick is to exfoliate them with a gentle face scrub to keep that skin pretty when going sleeveless.

29) Customize Your Body Lotion
Instead of shelling out for an expensive perfumed body product, you can make your own by pouring a few drops of fragrance into any scent-free lotion. Rub it on-the scent will last for hours.

30) "Brush" with Mouthwash
If you're too wiped out after a late night of partying to clean your teeth, rinse with water and mouthwash, then use a dry toothbrush on the area where your teeth hit your gums.

31) Make an Egg-White Mask
To revive tired, dull skin without hitting the spa table, try this: Crack open an egg in a bowl, separate the yolk, and use the egg whites to make a face mask. The proteins help to heal and restore skin's moisture. Leave it on for five minutes, and rinse off.

32) Dry Sensitive Skin with T.P.
Instead of drying your face with a scratchy towel, pat with toilet paper-it's ultrasoft on delicate skin (and bums!).

Wacky Beauty Tips That Work Part 4

2008-05-21T22:08:00.001-07:00

18) Use Soap Without Water
You know those fancy bars that are actually too pretty to use? Toss them in your underwear or tee-shirt drawers to make your skin smell delicious.

19) Groom Brows with a Toothbrush
Mist an (unused!) toothbrush or eyebrow comb with hair spray to help flatten and tame unruly brows.

20) Put Diaper-Rash Cream on Dry Spots
Slather on a thick layer of diaper-rash cream to heal cracked elbows and feet.

21) Lubricate Your Lashes
An easy way to draw attention to your eyes without putting on a pile of makeup is to comb petroleum jelly lightly through the tips of eyelashes to get a sexy, subtle sparkle.

22) Steamroll Flyaways
Spray on hair spray, then roll the can over your strands. The round bottle fits the curved shape of your head, locks in the spray, and flattens out frizz.

23) Spike Lotion with Bronzer
If you don't have time to book a self-tanning session, mix a few pumps of body bronzer with regular hand lotion and pat it on your legs for a gradual dose of sexy, beachy color.

24) Air-Dry Your Curls
Let your hair dry indoors before going out in the cold. The curls will be really bouncy and piecey-perfect.

25) Press a Tea Bag on Splotches
If your skin is sensitive or just looking irritated and puffy for some reason, steep a bag of green tea for a minute or two, let it cool down, and dab it over your face. The antioxidants in the tea take down inflammation.

Wacky Beauty Tips That Work Part 3

2008-05-21T22:07:00.002-07:00

12) Boost Body Lotion with Baby Oil
If you're craving shiny legs that aren't greasy, blend a drop of baby oil into your normal body lotion for extra luster.

13) Dab Essential Oil on a Hangnail
Put on apricot oil, the kind found in health-food stores, to protect cuticles from turning rough and raggedy.

14) Quell a Cold Sore with Cream
When a cold sore is coming on, dab a bit of thick moisturizer, like Aquaphor, over it to prevent it from getting worse.

15) Freeze Your Eyeliner
If the tip of your eyeliner pencil crumbles and smears on your lids, store the liner in the freezer for 15 minutes before use so the tip is firm and goes across your skin smoothly.

16) Use Toothpaste on a Zit
Use just a pea-size amount. Let sit for 15 minutes to absorb the oil so the pimple won't get more clogged, then wash off.

17) Heat Up Your Curler
If you have stick-straight lashes, try blasting your metal eyelash curler with a hair dryer for a couple seconds to heat it up so your lashes bend more easily. And use a waterproof mascara. The formula dries faster than other mascaras, so it sets the curl more effectively.

Wacky Beauty Tips That Work Part 2

2008-05-21T22:07:00.001-07:00

6) Soften Your Bod with Avocado
Take a ripe avocado, remove the pit and skin, and mash it up in a bowl. Slather it all over your body, let it sit for 20 minutes, then rinse off. Your skin will be sooo soft — avocado is a natural moisturizer.

7) Super-Glue a Nail
Instead of tearing off your nail when it breaks, put a tiny dab of Super Glue over the split, and paint a generous layer of your favorite nailpolish shade over it. Go for an opaque option (like red, purple, or coral) to camouflage and seal the crack.

8) Use Makeup Remover on Stubborn Lipstick
Don't try to rub off red lipstick (which makes it smear across your mouth — not so sexy). Instead, take a cotton ball or tissue, dip it in makeup remover, and just dab to erase the dark stain fast.

9) Tame Brows with Eye Cream
Pat any kind of rich eye cream over brows to help keep them hydrated and banish those icky white specks that look like dandruff.

10) Buff with Baking Soda
If you find yourself streaking (not glowing) after applying self-tanner, put some baking soda on a loofah, and scrub away the stripes.

11) Brush on Hair Spray
For the final step of your blow-dry, spray hair spray onto your brush, and run it through strands from roots to tips. This way, your do isn't so plastered and stiff but still holds volume and shine.

Wacky Beauty Tips That Work Part 1

2008-05-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

Toothpaste on a zit? Vinegar in your hair? Some of that ridiculous-sounding advice you've heard in passing is really right on.

You've been told this line before: "Okay, I know it's weird but...." What follows is a surprising piece of advice — about anything from clearing up a zit to taming a flyaway — that totally does the trick. Call it word-of-mouth beauty. Sure, these tips might sound strange at first ("You put diaper cream where?!"), but there's a logic to them. We rounded up tons of such pointers (from pros as well as real girls) and tested them at Cosmo. Though a few clunkers had to be kicked to the curb, all the rest, presented here, are real gems.

1) Powder Your Roots
If your hairline starts to look greasy, dig up a big, fluffy makeup brush, and dip it into a pot of loose powder. Tap it once on the back of your hand to remove the excess, then dust it over your roots. It mops up oil and blends into your strands, so no one will know you didn't shower.

2) Scent Strands with Perfume
Spray a light shot of fragrance into the bristles. Run it through strands from roots to ends and your hair will smell amazing throughout the day.

3) Cure Calluses with Vaseline
Slather on the petroleum jelly, and put on socks before bed to dissolve tough calluses overnight.

4) Spot-Treat Smudges
Dip a cotton swab in eye-makeup remover, and trace it along your lids to erase any slipups or goofs when there's no time to redo your whole look.

5) Fix a Flushed Face
If you turn red and stay that way after exercising (like seriously red for hours, even though you're healthy and hydrated), take an antihistamine like Benadryl when you leave the gym to reduce redness.

Top 12 Myths about Cheating Part 7

2008-05-19T18:35:00.000-07:00

Myth #12: Affairs can "save" relationships.

This is a myth perpetuated by cheating people as justification for what they've done. And it's false. Can you imagine a couple ever saying Boy, that affair was the best thing to ever happen to us? That's because you won't. Affairs usually involve breaking a vow, lying on a regular basis and betraying trust. Even those who survive find the relationship tinged with resentment, sadness and guilt.

Having said that, looking at the reasons why the person strayed can help piece together what's left of what you had before. People often have affairs to reinvent themselves or, more accurately, to be the person they think they want to be. A long-term partner is likely to see you as the person you were when you met, rather than the person you've become, or the person you want to become. An affair gives you the chance to start over. That's why, after an affair, it's important to ask, "Who were you with that person? How can you be that person with me?"

Top 12 Myths about Cheating Part 6

2008-05-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

Myth #10: If there's no sex involved, it's not an affair.

Emotional infidelity—deep, passionate connections between people who often aren't even aware they've crossed the line from platonic friendship to romantic love—is the biggest threat a marriage can face. More than 80 percent of unfaithful people have affairs with someone who'd started out as "just a friend," very often a workmate. In fact, one study showed that 50 percent of unfaithful women and 62 percent of unfaithful men were involved with someone at work. Intense but invisible, erotic but unconsumed, emotional infidelity is dangerous, addictive and way too easy to get away with. If you're often pretending you're single when you're not; if you send secret texts or emails; if you share intimate details of your life with people you fancy and lie to your partner about seeing them, you're an emotional cheater.

Myth #11: Fantasizing about someone else means you're about to be unfaithful.

While many sex therapists will actually encourage couples in long-term relationships to fantasize about other people to cope with temptation—logic being, it's okay to be unfaithful in your head, just not your bed—others say it's risky. They say affairs start in the mind and fantasy sex can make you want the real thing even more. The whole point of fantasies, after all, is to conjure up brilliantly perfect sex. While the real life unfaithful encounter is likely to be far less exciting and imperfect, strong images can increase the craving to stray.

Top 12 Myths about Cheating Part 5

2008-05-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

Myth #8: You should always confess if you've had an affair.

If the affair is known or strongly suspected, you're better off telling. You've got more chance of rescuing your relationship after a voluntary confession than after an unwanted discovery. But if it's unlikely to be discovered, there are also valid reasons for keeping your mouth shut. For example, some experts will advise you not to tell if your partner's not the strongest person emotionally. News of an affair isn't exactly going to give them a leg up on that steep, bumpy road to high self-esteem! Telling is going to wipe out any trust they'd mustered up, and it could take years to rebuild (if, indeed, that's possible). Instead, work out why you had the affair in the first place. What were you getting from it that you aren't getting from the relationship you're in? Is it possible to create that with the person you're already with?

The worst possible reason to confess an affair is to make yourself feel better. True, it will lift the guilt off your shoulders. But it will plonk a whole heap of pain on your partner's. You made the mistake, now deal with the consequences.

Myth #9: Cheating doesn't count if no one finds out about it.

Does cheating really matter if there's absolutely no chance you'd ever get found out, you will never see the person again, you had safe sex, it meant nothing and you told no one? It completely depends on your personality. If you genuinely see nothing wrong with what you did, it probably doesn't. There's just one problem with this theory: Very few people truly believe there's nothing wrong with cheating. Even dodgy people are aware they're doing something "wrong" and this is where it all unravels, as your perception of your partner changes. You're one up on him because you got away with something. This makes him appear either naive and too trusting, or vulnerable and hopelessly helpless. Good relationships are based on mutual admiration and respect, not pitying your partner or secretly thinking they're ignorant.

Top 12 Myths about Cheating Part 4

2008-05-19T18:28:00.001-07:00

Myth #5: Sex with an ex isn't cheating because you've been there, done that.

Sleeping with an ex is the sexual slip-up people most commonly expect to get away with. It doesn't feel like you're being unfaithful—it's not as if it's with someone new who might expect the sex to turn into a relationship—right? Wrong. Sadly, this is exactly why sex with an ex can have disastrous consequences. You might be having a shag for old times sake, but your ex may be doing it as a desperate bid to rekindle the relationship. So you have to break it off (again) and explain to your current partner why you're suddenly getting e-mails or calls from him after all this time. The chances of getting found out are actually higher than if you'd had sex with a stranger because strangers won't feel the need to write a long, incriminating closure e-mail.

Myth #6: You can affair-proof your relationship.

You can lower the chances of an affair in your relationship, but there are never any guarantees. The next best thing? Choose the right partner. Choosing the right person is more important than keeping them happy once you've got them because things like morals, values systems and family backgrounds are much stronger influences on whether someone will cheat (or not).

Myth #7: If he has a history of cheating, he'll probably cheat on you too.

This one is almost always true. If your partner's cheated on almost everyone they've been out with—and nothing has happened to make them rethink their behavior—they'll almost certainly do the same to you.

Top 12 Myths about Cheating Part 3

2008-05-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

yth #3: Affairs are mostly about sex.

Some affairs are about sex and most certainly include sex because sex with someone else is forbidden, making it very appealing. But sex is not always the reason people cheat. Affairs are a way for people to get something they're not getting from the relationship they're in. It's that simple. What's not so simple is defining what it is that's missing. In fact, oftentimes the cheating partner isn't aware of it. Some people are searching for something they lost as a child, others for lost youth. Some people cheat on "perfect" partners because they're sick of perfection. It's not always about sex.

Myth #4: If he cheats on you, he doesn't love you.

It may feel that way, but it's not necessarily the case. It does, however, mean he doesn't respect you enough to honor the commitment you've made to one another and that he has a different value system than yours. Some people are more than capable of separating sex from love and physically sleeping with someone else doesn't affect their love for you. Generally, men tend to have sex-based affairs, not emotional or "love-based" affairs. But, the decision you need to make is whether his definition of love is enough for you.

Top 12 Myths about Cheating Part 2

2008-05-19T18:23:00.001-07:00

Myth #2: Men cheat much more than women do.

This used to be the case, but now the infidelity scales are balancing out. Why? Women cheat for the same reasons as men: It's someone new. It's naughty (and therefore nice). But there are other reasons women cite: The affair was a "reward" for being an unappreciated wife and mother or for putting up with a partner who wasn't affectionate, didn't listen or ignored them. It was an "ego boost." (Gone are the days when we'd treat ourselves to a new lipstick or haircut to cheer ourselves up.) We're still not as blase about affairs as men—women are more likely to feel guilty—but given that studies show we're much better at lying, we're also more likely to get away with it.

It's also a myth that it's men who try to turn friendships into affairs. Most unfaithful men see affairs as high opportunity and low involvement. On the contrary, it tends to be women who push platonic relationships from friendship to love and fantasy to reality, according to psychologists. Women get more emotionally involved and are keen to test out friendships to determine if they'd make for better relationships than their current situations. So she's often seeking a potential soul mate; he's just having fun.

Top 12 Myths about Cheating Part 1

2008-05-19T18:20:00.000-07:00

Do men cheat more often than women? Should you confess if you've had an affair? Is cheating always about sex? Read on for the top 12 infidelity myths and the truth—or lack thereof!—behind them.

Myth #1: People cheat because they're unhappy at home.

If you're female, this is usually the case. Women in long-term marriages who are having affairs report low satisfaction with their marriage. For men, on the other hand, that's not necessarily the case. Many men who love their partners and have great sex at home never turn down an opportunity for a bit on the side if they think they can get away with it. In one study, 56 percent of cheating men surveyed said their marriages were very happy. Only 34 percent of unfaithful women agreed.

The Truth about DIET PILLS Part 3

2008-05-19T18:16:00.001-07:00

4. Medication awaiting FDA approval (not many!). Many brain pathways are involved in appetite. One is the endo-cannabinoid pathway – the same brain pathways where marijuana acts. Marijuana stimulates this pathway, and improves mood and stimulates appetite. If you block this pathway – that’s the drug Rimonabant - you suppress appetite. Approved for use in 14 European countries, Mexico, and other areas, Rimonabant is still NOT approved in the US. The FDA presently does not feel the risks outweigh the benefits. A side-effect of treatment occurs in some people that remains a concern: depressive mood. It is expected that this drug will again be submiited to the FDA for approval sometime in the future. A related compound, Taranabant, is also under study. My bottom line? Not ready for prime time in the US, so wait for approval here, under your doctor's supervision.

So, lifestyle remains the foundation of weight loss in 2008. Prescription medication can help support, but not replace, a lifestyle effort. Reductions in appetite are hard to achieve over the long term. That's our bodies protecting us from starvation - a pretty smart built-in mechanism for survival.

The Truth about DIET PILLS Part 2

2008-05-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

2. Prescription medications (approved by FDA for weight loss). Approved by the FDA for safety and efficacy. Few medications are currently available, and the two most common are phentermine and sibutramine. Phentermine, which is only approved for use for up to 12 weeks and is a major body stimulant (older drug from the 1950s) and Meridia, which is approved for up to 2 years (first approved in 1993). Meridia has a much gentler effect on the brain, and helps people feel fuller on a lot less food. My bottom line? Talk to your doctor about your own needs. Many people have no response to medication at all, or only for a limited time. For the right people, Meridia can sometimes be of long term support. Only use these under a physician's care, and do not buy these online. These medications do not promise a lot, and the claims are more modest, due to FDA rules.

3. "Off-label" prescription medications (approved by FDA for use, but NOT for weight loss; weight loss is a side-effect of treatment). This is an alarming trend. Off label drug use means: using a prescription medication for a reason other than what it is approved for. It IS FDA approved, for another reason. People get these online, from relatives, friends, and sometimes even from their own doctor. There are about a half dozen drugs used as off label treatments for obesity. These include Topamax (for seizures); Adderall (for hyperactivity); wellbutrin (for depression); glucophage and byetta (for diabetes); provigil (for chronic fatigue and sleep disorders). Most of the evidence of these for weight loss comes from observing patients who are taking these for FDA approved use. My bottom line: Stay away!! If these were appropriate for weight loss, they would have an approved and indicated use for it. Talk to your doctor about your weight issues to start.

The Truth about DIET PILLS Part 1

2008-05-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

Losing weight is hard. What if you ALWAYS feel hungry? Can appetite suppressants help? Do they work?

The answer is: some products, for some people, some of the time.
To understand this somewhat vague answer, we need to look at the categories of products – which vary widely in their demonstrated efficacy, and purity/safety.

Our body protects itself and its need for calories – hard-wiring a stimulation of appetite – so our response is to EAT, for survival. It's VERY hard to find any compounds that reduce appetite without doing a lot of other things to the body. It's a main reason there are so few prescription weight loss medications - it's certainly not for lack of trying!

There are 4 categories of products claiming appetite suppression:

1. Dietary supplements (not approved by FDA; available over the counter). While this group of products is easy to find in many stores and on-line, and promise to reduce appetite, it's important to read "below the headlines" before making a decision. My bottom line: avoid these. Why? There is always the question of safety, purity or dosage - since there is no regulation to monitor these. While these may be a waste of money, at the very worst, they can be health damaging. Natural doesn't mean safe: arsenic is natural! It is not surprising in nature that there are compounds that stimulate, sedate, increase appetite, and reduce appetite. These are all actions of plants - and if you chew the leaves or plant parts, you get the effect. You cannot translate these actions to a pill or capsule you know nothing about, except from assurances of the package. Plus, the placebo effect can be very big - we like to "think it's working", so it does. Always talk to your doctor first. Some of these products may interfere with prescription medicines.Here's a great resource to separate "help from hype" when it comes to these products:

Love Lessons from Sex and the City Part 4

2008-05-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

Case study: Carrie
The eternal single girl had her share of romances, chronicled in her weekly column, but the truest love story is the one she wrote for herself. Bad luck and messy breakups were de rigueur in Carrie's life. By surviving the pitfalls — a Manolo-mugging, a computer crash, and a very embarrassing fashion fall — Carrie gained the confidence and strength to continue her search for true love. "The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself," she said. "And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
Lesson #7: Be fearlessly single.

Love Lessons from Sex and the City Part 3

2008-05-19T17:30:00.001-07:00

Case study: Samantha and Smith
Samantha's dating philosophy: "I'm a trysexual. I'll try anything once." Her only rule was to never fall in love. She was so set in her man-eating ways that when she scouted and seduced a gorgeous waiter at a raw food restaurant, she didn't even ask his name. She encouraged the struggling young actor to play out his sexual fantasies and took him under her wing professionally, changing his name to Smith Jerrod and making him the Absolut Hunk. Somewhere between sex and stardom, Samantha fell in love and eventually confessed to Smith, "You've meant more to me than any man I have ever known."
Lesson #5: Dare to fall in love.

Case study: Carrie and Mr. Big
Sure, Carrie might have done some of the chasing, but in the end it was Mr. Big who showed up at her door the day she left New York City for Paris. Angry that his timing was always off, she screamed, "Forget you know my number! In fact, forget you know my name!" But he didn't give up. He called to tell her he loved her, and fortunately, Charlotte was there to answer his desperate call. The next day, he met the ladies for brunch and admitted, "You're the loves of her life, and a guy would be lucky to come in fourth." With their blessing, Mr. Big went to Paris to get "their" girl.
Lesson #6: Let him chase you.

Love Lessons from Sex and the City Part 2

2008-05-19T17:29:00.000-07:00

Case study: Charlotte and Trey
An optimist with a very romantic view of love, Charlotte believed her dreams had come true when she was literally rescued by the single, wealthy, and handsome Dr. Trey MacDougal. Despite some major red flags — a lackluster marriage proposal, a meddling mother-in-law, and a sexless honeymoon — Charlotte was determined to make the relationship work. Although she gave it her all, their union still failed.
Lesson #3: Never ignore the warning signs that tell you a relationship isn't working.

Case study: Carrie and Berger
Witty writer Jack Berger had these famous last words for Carrie, written on a Post-it note: "I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me." After the abrupt end to their short, rocky relationship, Carrie vowed to spend the same amount of time getting over her breakup as Berger had spent ending it. If only it were that easy. Though Carrie managed to avoid him, she ended up melting down in front of his friends, which undoubtedly got back to him. She learned that it's better to face the music (or in her case, the Post-it note) and get it over with.
Lesson #4: As painful as breakups can be, you have to mourn before moving on.

Love Lessons from Sex and the City Part 1

2008-05-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

In their six years on the air, the SATC chicks endured the good, the bad, and the totally bizarre when it came to dating. Cosmo studied some of their most memorable relationships to find out what we could learn from the fabulous foursome.

Case study: Miranda and Steve
When Miranda met bartender Steve Brady, she was skeptical as usual. He was nice (and easy on the eyes) but clearly not relationship material. Not surprisingly, their divergent careers created problems: conflicting schedules, fights about money, and different outlooks on life. Miranda could have deleted his number from her BlackBerry, but ultimately, his laid-back personality and devotion won her over. The unlikely pair started a family and eventually tied the knot.
Lesson #1: Date against your type.

Case study: Carrie and Aidan
Hot furniture designer Aidan was everything Carrie thought she wanted in a man: emotionally available, honest, and ready to commit. Aidan wanted Carrie to meet his parents, have the keys to his apartment, and eventually be his wife. She attempted to change by quitting smoking (and nixing her addiction to Mr. Big), giving country life a shot, and wearing his engagement ring around her neck. But no matter how hard Carrie tried, she couldn't commit to any of it. While Aidan seemed perfect on paper, he wasn't the ideal guy for Carrie.
Lesson #2: Don't change for a man, no matter what.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY MEN CHEAT

2008-02-14T17:12:00.000-08:00

Adultery has been around forever, and has always given us something to talk about. Most reality TV shows these days center on it, as do gossip mags. But we are far from cracking the big mystery: Why do some men cheat in relationships? All men know, at some level, that cheating is wrong. From the earliest age, we are taught the virtues of monogamy. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife," bellows our Judeo-Christian consciousness. Yet we still do it. blame it on the genes In troubled relationships, cheating can be an easy alternative to the burden of a breakup or the agony of divorce. It's a quick fix for the sake of the couple's or the family's integrity. Some of us have even gone so far as to enact the long-distance code: If you cheat in another zip code, it doesn't count. And with evolutionary psychologists telling us that we are wired to lay our seeds in as many women as possible to ensure our genetic survival, adultery is slowly becoming a defensible misdeed, which may explain why women are catching up to men in the game of infidelity. Because of our insatiable appetite for sex, we men can sometimes only be as faithful as our options. Here are the 10 main reasons why some men will opt to shed their devotion and cheat on their partners. Number 10 Your lady doesn't put out Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often. Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image. Number 9 She cheated on you So you found out your lady was being unfaithful, and the only way you can relieve your anger is by doing the same. For many men, this is the only way to get back at their cheating girlfriends and even the score. Some men might even cheat to get back at all the cheating women they've had the misfortune of dating throughout their lives; now that's efficiency. Number 8 It's challenging and exciting If you consider the women you sleep with "sexual trophies," chances are you have already cheated at least once in your life. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the hunt, the chase and the conquest. For other men, the excitement is in the variety, like changing ice cream flavors for one day after years of sticking to just one. Number 7 You can get away with it "What eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel," goes the old adage, and it still holds true, as long as there are no cameras around. The knowledge that no one will find out and no one will get hurt is reason enough for some men to grab a different helping. But be careful; as men get craftier with avoiding detection, women get more sophisticated with detecting, not to mention boosting their network of spies. Number 6 It boosts your ego Nothing lifts the old self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire you sexually. When in long-term relationships, men may begin to question their sexual marketability, which will lead some of them to sow their clandestine wild oats. Once a man knows he can get back in the game, he'll return to his mate; or not. What's a guy to do when his girlfriend's-a-naggin' and opportunity comes-a-knockin'?Number 5 The opportunity was there It's an uncontested fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly bombarded with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible prospect presents itself. Maybe it's a frisky ex-girlfriend, maybe it's a horny hottie on the dance floor. A guy may see it as once-in-a-lifetime occasion that might never be available again. Carpe diem, as they say. Number 4 Your girlfriend is a nag Most men have experienced at least one woman who thrives on making him feel like crap. Constant nagging, fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. Cheating with another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin. Number 3 Women let us Truth be told, women are quick to forgive men for their unfaithful behavior. Maybe it's their fear of being alone, or that women are simply the more merciful ones of the human species. Some women might even blame themselves for their men's infidelities, and take steps to improve their relationships. The fact that many women let their men get away with murder might compel them to double deal repeatedly. Just ask Bill Clinton. Number 2 She doesn't turn you on anymore Long-term relationships have the annoying habit of making people lazy. No longer concerned with staying fit and attractive, a committed woman might lose the allure she once had. Her man may simply not find her beautiful anymore, and making love to her is not as stirring as it once was. This is why most mistresses are gorgeous, young women. Number 1 You don't love her anymore Alas, after a long time together, you have lost the feelings you once had for her. But the relationship has remained too much a part of you. Separating seems so painful, so radical that it's almost inconceivable. So instead of separating, you go elsewhere to get your physical gratification. Most times this does not help matters, but only prolongs the inevitable breakup. your cheating heart In the end, cheating is no joking matter. If you are cheating on your girlfriend or wife, it might be that you are unhappy in the relationship, or that you have issues that you should address. Look at the big picture and see your unfaithfulness as a symptom of a bigger problem. Cheating might feel good as a quick escape from your problems, but it's only an anesthetic -- not a long-term solution.

Why Men Cheat - Discover Shocking Facts

2008-02-04T19:08:00.000-08:00

So why do men cheat? What makes them take the other route when it comes to relationships? Do all men cheat for the same reason? Well there are several types of men on this planet and no not all cheat for the same reason. Each one has his own story to tell. Read on to discover the major reasons why men cheat.

Past habit- Some men are addicted and cheat only due to the fact they simply can't control themselves. They might get into a relationship or even married but after the initial phase they get back to the route of cheating and cheat only because of lack of control on their bodies.

Lack of attraction- Sometimes things tend to go dry after the initial phases of the marriage or the relationship and they start looking for better options. Some men tend to loose attraction towards their wife or girlfriend but at the same time do not want to get out of the relationship therefore they tend to cheat.

Sex- This is the most common major reason why most men cheat. According to some men sex tends to get boring after a while and they want something fresh. There in this quest for something exciting and something new they tend to cheat on their wives or girl friends.

Constant nagging- Sometimes due to constant nagging and quarrels at home men tend to cheat. This might be simply due to one's ego satisfaction or just take revenge on one's wife or girl friend. This basically deals with the emotional connection a man is not able to make with his wife or girlfriend and that's why he goes out looking for the same connection with someone else.

Bad-Date Escape (2)

2008-01-14T17:04:00.000-08:00

Dating Def-Con 2: Mr. Don’t-You-Want-Me
This guy has been following you around the gym for weeks. He’s always offering to spot you on the incline leg-press or hold your feet while you do sit-ups just so he can sneak a few furtive glances up the legs of your shorts. Finally, you give in and go out on a date with him, because after all, he isn’t a complete jerk. Then he takes you dancing and rubs against you so hard, he crushes the crotch of your velvet pants. Unfortunately, it’s going to take more than a polite dismissal at the end of the night to convince Mr. Passionate that his eager beaver attitude isn’t working for you.

“This is no time to be subtle,” says Martinet. “For men with major egos, anything remotely positive that you say could be misinterpreted as a mating call.” Your best bet may be to bring up a topic that will unplug his love machine. Like, “I’m just dying to get married and have a baby!” “My last boyfriend was incredibly well-endowed, and ever since then, anything less than 12 inches just makes me laugh,” or “Buy me a drink. Alcohol helps my yeast infection.”

Dating Def-Con 3: Mr. Lewd, Crude, and Utterly Rude
Okay, the guy sitting across from you at the table doesn’t have a single thing going for him. He called you “Babycakes” 10 minutes after meeting you, leered at the waitress as she walked away, and now he’s telling you that all women are good for is cooking food and having babies. You don’t want to be breathing the same air as this guy, much less go out with him again.

“You could just get up and walk out,” says Martinet, “but sometimes it’s easier to avoid a scene by coming up with a creative excuse.” Tell him that you have to check your messages, she suggests. Come back looking distraught and explain earnestly that your 90-year-old neighbor called and you have to run to the pharmacy before it closes to pick up her prescription. “Another great getaway move is to start rummaging through your purse while becoming more and more agitated,” says Martinet, “then mutter something about losing your medication, a winning lottery ticket, your keys, wallet, whatever, and insist that you have to leave to go find it.” Chances are the jerk won’t offer to help.

Bad-Date Escape (1)

2008-01-14T17:01:00.000-08:00

If you go on enough dates, you eventually come to realize some simple truths: Some dates are really great. Some dates are not so great. And some dates make hara-kiri by dull butter knife seem like a viable alternative to spending one more minute in a certain man’s company. When a date turns from bad to awful, all you want to know is: How do I get the hell out of here?

That was the question facing my friend Monica on a recent night out. “It was my first date with this guy, and he invited me to dinner at his place,” she recalls. “But when I arrived, his parents were there. That was weird enough, but all during dinner, they kept asking me really personal questions, like what my religious beliefs were.” Monica was being grilled like a guest star on a showbiz talk show, and it was time to break out of the interrogation. “After an hour and a half, I said that I felt sick, went to the bathroom, and climbed out the window.”

A daring escape, yes, but one that’s not always practical, especially if your man of the moment lives on the 15th floor. So the next time your date bores you, frightens you, or seems to have just spent A Night at the Roxbury, try one of these four exit plans.

Dating Def-Con 1: Mr. Nice-But-Not-For-You
Your best friend set you up with a guy who looks just like Keanu Reeves’ little brother, but now you’re halfway through dinner and he won’t stop talking about how his ex-girlfriend broke his heart. Plus, he’s wearing argyle everything and you think you just caught a whiff of your dad’s cologne. This guy may be somebody’s idea of Mr. Right—he’s just not yours. Problem is, you can’t bear to hurt his feelings. Before you know it, he’ll be puckering up for a good-night kiss and/or asking for another date. Yikes!

“You have to make sure he knows you’re not interested,” says Jeanne Martinet, author of Come-ons, Comebacks, and Kiss-Offs (St. Martin’s Press, 1997). She recommends softening your rejection with flattery. Try something like, “Well, we don’t have much in common, but I think you’re the funniest, smartest, sweetest, wittiest, fill-in-the-blank guy I’ve ever met.” Ask him if it would be okay to give his phone number to one of your friends who’d be just perfect for him. “He’s going to feel rejected no matter what you do,” says Martinet, “but complimenting him while still stressing that he’s not your type will help him walk away with his dignity intact.”

CONTINUE...

Her mother is having an affair

2008-01-14T07:12:00.000-08:00

My mom and dad are both 54 years old, and I’m 27 already. My father is a seaman who is away for 10 months in a year. My mom is a homemaker.

It must have been five years ago when I noticed something about my mom. A guy would always call and look for my mother.

My sister once asked who the guy was and my mom replied that he was a friend of hers. We never questioned her again perhaps because we did not want to know the truth.

I already had my doubts. Once, I heard her talking to someone on the phone, detailing what they just did sexually and how they enjoyed it. I was 100-percent sure she was not talking to my dad. It confirmed everything.

You cannot imagine the pain when I learned this. I love her so much and most of the time I pity her. She always complained how bored she was just staying in the house.

But I do not think she has the right to hurt us and my dad that way.

No one knows that she is having an affair aside from me. Maybe my sisters know it, too, but we do not talk about it at all.

I do not want to say anything to my dad, since I do not want to break up our family and I do not want him to get hurt. Sometimes I feel like confronting my mother and then I tell myself to just let it pass.

Anyway, my dad is retiring and he will be staying for good in the Philippines.
That should put an end to my mom’s affair but I am so sad.

A:our dilemma is being experienced, as we speak, by so many other wives, husbands and children in the same situation.

The question here is, is breaking up a family by bringing out the truth in the open worth it?

Let us say you are able to confront your mother about her affair, then what? Are you going to be her judge and jury and ask her to choose between your father and her lover? Or will it remain a little secret between the two of you?

Do you honestly believe it was just boredom that drove your mother into having this affair? Besides the money he sends home, are there other reasons why your father should be able to count on your mother’s loyalty?

Did your parents have a strong, loving, friendly and affectionate relationship that should have enabled them to bear these long separations?

Your pain is understandable and so is your father’s anger if he finds out. But it is so easy to point fingers and throw stones when we are not in that predicament.

And, unless we enter the minds of the players here, we will really never know the whys, wherefores and hows of a family on the verge of breaking up.

You may have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother if this will ease your pain.
Just remember to have an open mind when she starts baring her soul to you.
Keep your ears wide open and your lips shut.

Be prepared for what you may unearth—from her and about her. It might surprise you to discover that some things are not always what they seem.

IN LAWS

2008-01-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

Q:I am married and have two daughters.

My husband and I have this running argument about my family, especially when money is involved.

Right now, my parents live with us because my mother takes care of my two kids since my husband and I both work.

My dad just lost his job. I wanted to give my parents money during the Christmas season but my husband did not want me to do it.

I told him a little amount would not do us harm and, at the same time, it was my pakunswelo to them.

I do not know why my husband treats my parents that way. I know it has something to do with money and it is sad that it is still etched in his mind all this time.

How will I tell him to respect my parents for my sake and my kids?

SAD MOM

What is it about forgiveness that turns some people’s hearts into stone?

Does he ever go to church on Sunday or whatever day of the week it is when he attends a house of prayer? If he does, how can he go on bended knees and ask for forgiveness when the very thought is alien to him?

Let us say, for argument’s sake, that your parents squandered thousands of his hard-earned money and still have not paid. Is that reason enough to treat them badly, even irreverently all this time?

Money can be earned, borrowed or stolen, and it will still be only money. But good manners is something else.

He should be angry at them if he sees them living off his money and spending obscenely like there is no tomorrow.

But if they are still at your mercy, in your house, then, something somewhere must have gotten basically wrong.

Your facts are so sketchy, but I am going out on a limb here. Your parents may have borrowed your husband’s money to start a business of their own, or acted as conduit for some other people—all of which must have turned out badly.

Such things happen. But to remain angry all this time is a waste of energy and emotion.

You are right in your wish that he treats them a bit nicer for you and your kids’ sake. He should realize that it is only vegetables he should plant and allow to grow—not anger.

It is counterproductive, totally useless and utterly bad for the health and marriage.

"What happened to my marriage?"

2008-01-14T06:46:00.000-08:00

Q:My husband of eight years told me he doesn't love me anymore. He said he's confused about his feelings, and that there isn't another woman. I suggested counseling, but he thinks it won't work. He talks about separating and says he wants to figure it out on his own. He even thinks that going out with another woman might help. He might as well have punched me in the gut. What should I do? He says he cares about me and doesn't want to hurt me, so I don't understand!

A:First off, I want to say that I can hear your heart breaking all the way over here on the other side of the country. You have been on the receiving end of words that no one ever wants to hear. And it's no surprise that you don't understand what's happening. How could you possibly get what's going on with this guy when on the one hand he says that he doesn't love you anymore–a remark that rates a 10-plus on the Scale of Sheer Cruelty–and on the other, he says that he doesn't want to hurt you? Or that therapy won't help the situation, but dating other women "might." (In the interest of keeping the conversation polite, the adjective for that line will not be printed here.)

I took the liberty of discussing your situation with a counselor, and she said that if your husband refuses to consider any kind of therapy and tells you he doesn't love you, there is nothing to be done but to find yourself an attorney, serve your husband with divorce papers (thereby freezing all of your financial assets), and tell him he's free to sort out his feelings for as long as he wants.

I can imagine how impossible this might sound to you. You're devastated. But if it's true that he doesn't love you, then he's left you with no alternative. Call your family, your best friend, and yes, perhaps a counselor; tell them what's happening, and ask them to help prop you up and suggest a good attorney. Then call her.

Know, too, that such resolute behavior on your part–and a few weeks without the comforts of home–might cause your husband to change his tune. Suddenly, he realizes he loves you after all! But remember what motivated you to write this letter. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who so flippantly questions his love for you?

"Why won't he stop lying?"

2008-01-14T06:44:00.000-08:00

Q: I don't trust my husband of 13 years. He's lied about smoking, eating, drinking, money, pornography, and told a zillion other little white lies. I also don't trust him because he takes cash from my purse; sometimes he admits it, sometimes not. The kicker was when I received a letter from the police stating that my car had been in a hit-and-run -- it hit a parked car. It wasn't until I confronted my husband about it that he admitted it. I told him that by not telling me about it, he had broken my trust again. Is this marriage doomed?

Everybody lies. I, for one, have lied about eating, money, and probably pornography. But your husband seems to be a compulsive liar; he does it out of habit and feels more comfortable lying than telling the truth. And some of his lies could have disastrous consequences for your marriage. Is it doomed? Not yet, but no marriage can survive for long without trust.

A:In general, I'm loath to automatically hit the giant red "Get Therapy!" button, but I have my finger poised above it now. Whatever you've said to your husband, you're not getting your point across -- that your lack of trust in him is endangering your marriage. And he keeps lying, no matter how many times he's caught. He should get professional help; if he's skeptical of this, tell him you'd like to work on building trust between the two of you. Try saying, "I was really upset about the car, and even more upset that you felt you couldn't tell me about it." Don't accuse him of being a liar; the irony is that the more someone lies, the more defensive he gets when accused of it. Once you sit down with a therapist, you'll be in a better place to discuss ways for your husband to break his lying habit, which he must do in order for you to regain your trust in him -- no lie.

"Should I Tell Her He's Cheating?"

2008-01-14T06:31:00.000-08:00

Q: My husband's old college roommate has been dating the same girl for at least three years, and they live together. About four months ago, he came to visit us, and he, along with my husband and some other guys, went out for a night on the town. My husband's friend brought a girl home from the bar and I heard them fooling around on the couch. I told them the party was over, and he took her home.

Now I hear that he's going to propose to his girlfriend. I've only met her a few times, but there's a chance I'll see her sometime before the wedding. My instinct is not to say anything, but my guess is that he's done this before. Should I say something?

A: Your instinct is serving you well here, and you should heed it. It's not your place to say anything to a woman you barely know regarding something you don't know much about. On the night your husband's old roommate was fooling around, he and his girlfriend may have been broken up. They may have decided that very week to see other people. Or, as you suspect, he may be a faithless jerk. Bottom line: You have no way of knowing. Even if you did know, and you said something to this guy's girlfriend, what do you imagine the outcome would be? It's unlikely she'd respond with, "Why, thank you for stirring up trouble, Strange Girl I've Met a Few Times! I'm going to say no, no, no! when my faithless-according-to-you boyfriend proposes!"

I realize it's a burden to be in this position, possessing what may (or may not) be important information, yet knowing that the right thing to do is to keep it to yourself. Still, just hold your tongue, go to the wedding (if there is one, and if you're invited), raise a toast to the bride and groom, and wish them well. Then hope for the best.

YOUR ANIMAL SIGN

2008-01-13T22:26:00.000-08:00

Year of the Rat –1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020, 2032, 2044

Year of the Ox - 1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021, 2033, 2045

Year of the Tiger - 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022, 2034, 2046

Year of the Rabbit - 1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023, 2036, 2047

Year of the Dragon - 1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012, 2024, 2036, 2048

Year of the Snake - 1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025, 2037, 2049

Year of Horse - 1918, 1930, 1942, 1954,1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014, 2026, 2038, 2050

Year of the Sheep - 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015, 2027, 2039, 2051

Year of the Monkey - 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016, 2028, 2040, 2052

Year of the Rooster - 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017, 2029, 2041, 2053

Year of the Dog - 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018, 2030, 2042, 2054

Year of the Pig - 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019, 2020, 2031, 2043

YOUR FORTUNE IN THE RAT YEAR

YOUR FORTUNE IN THE RAT YEAR

2008-01-13T22:25:00.000-08:00

RAT

Enjoy a great year and a new life cycle of opportunities! This cycle brings good fortune, abundance, and luck. Financial gain is foreseen, happiness and contentment can be found, relationships prosper, and creativity is stimulated. Rats are empowered by experiencing the chi of their own year.

OX

Experience good fortune and prosperity. Financial gain, promotion, and recognition are foreseen. Rat is Ox's good friend; therefore, friends and associates will be beneficial. Even though Rat outwitted Ox in the old folk tale, Ox still has luck in any Rat year.

TIGER

Anticipate minimal gains and not too much advancement. Restless Tiger requires action, but money could be tight and compromises must be accepted. Rats think, plan, scheme, and ponder -- which are not Tiger (nor Horse) traits. You will start a new fortunate life cycle in Tiger year 2010.

RABBIT

Expect a good year with opportunity for advancement. An auspicious time to change residence, invest in real estate, or remodel or decorate your home. Work progresses steadily, but examine all documents carefully and be less naive. Rat is three steps ahead of the game (like Monkey) so don't be duped.

DRAGON

Rat year is one of the best years for mighty Dragon because Dragon and Rat are close friends. Rat's influence brings new beginnings and exciting creative endeavors that perfectly match Dragon's flamboyant style. Business interest prosper as does romance. Finally, luck returns to the Dragon.

SNAKE

Prepare for hectic activity, which could overwhelm Serpent with responsibilities. If Serpent remains calm and centered and addresses each problem as it arises, progress can be attained, especially in business. It is best to be frugal and not spend or loan money money at this time. Luck returns in Ox year 2009.

HORSE

Anticipate challenges because Rat is opposite Horse in the twelve-year cycle of the animals. Conflict can occur in romance, in business, and with authority figures including the law. Horse benefits from prudent spending, disciplined work, and behaving less free spirited. Continue with current efforts and do not start new enterprises unless very carefully planned. Luck returns in Tiger year 2010.

SHEEP

Rat year can be a very good year for Sheep, even though Rat and Sheep hold very different values. Business improves, debts can be paid, and success is foreseen. Family and home life is stable and calm, and friendship and romance are favored. Time to be more frugal and not "eat paper."

MONKEY

Finally -- great fortune for the Monkey! Rat, Monkey, and Dragon are best friends so the chi of the Rat year perfectly matches Monkey's values and sensibilities. Business flows and prospers, romance and family life blossom, and success is indicated in all endeavors. Love luck is strong during the entire year, especially with a Rat.

ROOSTER

Be flexible if you experience financial difficulties. Avoid bad business deals and loss of money to family or friends. Others might not be helpful and Phoenix could feel abandoned. A year to be practical and discreet. Your cycle of rebirth will be in Ox year 2009.

DOG

Enjoy a positive year and pay attention to business, although too much work and focus on money could become drudgery and not mentally stimulating enough for hard-working Dog. But health is strong and illness can be avoided. Rat and Dog are compatible, both love the pack, so relationships are fine this year.

PIG

Expect a prosperous business year, although there may be minor financial difficulties or delays that could cause worry, which is not a Pig trait. Romance is highlighted, social success is foreseen, and Pig has opportunities to enjoy new experiences including fine dining, travel, and gourmet adventures.

KNOW YOUR ANIMAL SIGN

THE YEAR OF THE RAT 2008

2008-01-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

The year of the Rat begins on the new moon of February 6th, 2008 at 7:44 PM PST. (Chinese New Year begins on the second new Moon after winter solstice.) Rat year is a time of plenty, bringing abundance and good fortune. During this auspicious year, Rat's prosperity can influence everyone, and is especially lucky for those born in Rat, Dragon, and Monkey years.

Expect a powerful year when people are firm about their goals, passions, and aspirations. Although there may be fluctuations in world economies, it is an excellent time to start a business, buy property, invest in long-term plans, or accumulate wealth. Ventures begun in the Rat year will prosper if well prepared, but it is not a time for foolish risks. Rat loves the pack, so this year is also a time for socializing, entertaining, and enjoying ourselves.

Those born in Rat year (1900, 1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1996, 2008) have a natural ability to be successful because Rat is a symbol of wealth and prosperity. Rats are smart, sharp, clever, humorous, creative, curious, witty, industrious, and frugal. Rats can pinch pennies and be real bargainers. Some translations refer to Rat as mouse, which can be misleading; Rat's personality is rarely mousy or meek. Rats can be easily adapt to different environments and survive against all odds. Their charm and quick wit win admiration wherever they go. They are very observant, quick to take action, are popular in social circles, and are good organizers. Rats have a talent for the arts, especially writing.

YOUR FORTUNE IN THE RAT YEAR

Why Sex Stops after Marriage

2008-01-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer;
I didn't write this. A close friend emailed this to me. Unfortunately I don't know where it came from...it's a good read.

For married couples with kids and busy jobs, sex just isn’t what it used to be. How stress causes strife in the bedroom—and beyond

June 30 issue — For Maddie Weinreich, sex had always been a joy. It helped her recharge her batteries and reconnect with her husband, Roger. But teaching yoga, raising two kids and starting up a business—not to mention cooking, cleaning and renovating the house—left her exhausted. She often went to bed before her husband, and was asleep by the time he joined her. Their once steamy love life slowly cooled. When Roger wanted to have sex, she would say she was too beat. He tried to be romantic; to set the mood he’d light a candle in their bedroom. “I would see it and say, ‘Oh, God, not that candle’,” Maddie recalls. “It was just the feeling that I had to give something I didn’t have.”

LATELY, IT SEEMS, we’re just not in the mood. We’re overworked, anxious about the economy—and we have to drive our kids to way too many T-Ball games. Or maybe it’s all those libido-dimming antidepressants we’re taking. We resent spouses who never pick up the groceries or their dirty socks. And if we actually find we have 20 minutes at the end of the day—after bath time and story time and juice-box time and e-mail time—who wouldn’t rather zone out to Leno than have sex? Sure, passion ebbs and flows in even the healthiest of relationships, but judging from the conversation of the young moms at the next table at Starbucks, it sounds like we’re in the midst of a long dry spell.

It’s difficult to say exactly how many of the 113 million married Americans are too exhausted or too grumpy to get it on, but some psychologists estimate that 15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which is how the experts define sexless marriage. And even couples who don’t meet that definition still feel like they’re not having sex as often as they used to. Despite the stereotype that women are more likely to dodge sex, it’s often the men who decline. The number of sexless marriages is “a grossly underreported statistic,” says therapist Michele Weiner Davis, author of “The Sex-Starved Marriage.”

If so, the problem must be huge, given how much we already hear about it. Books like “The Sex-Starved Marriage,” “Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages” and “Resurrecting Sex” have become talk-show fodder. Dr. Phil has weighed in on the crisis; his Web site proclaims “the epidemic is undeniable.” Avlimil, an herbal concoction that promises to help women put sex back into sexless marriage, had sales of 200,000 packages in January, its first month on the market. The company says it’s swamped with as many as 3,000 calls a day from women who are desperately seeking desire. Not that the problem is confined to New Agers: former U.S. Labor secretary Robert Reich jokes about the pressure couples are under in speeches he gives on overworked Americans. Have you heard of DINS? he asks his audience. It stands for dual income, no sex.

Marriage counselors can’t tell you how much sex you should be having, but most agree that you should be having some. Sex is only a small part of a good union, but happy marriages usually include it. Frequency of sex may be a measure of a marriage’s long-term health; if it suddenly starts to decline, it can be a leading indicator of deeper problems, just like “those delicate green frogs that let us know when we’re destroying the environment,” says psychologist John Gottman, who runs the Family Research Lab (dubbed the Love Lab) at the University of Washington. Marriage pros say intimacy is often the glue that holds a couple together over time. If either member of a couple is miserable with the amount of sex in a marriage, it can cause devastating problems—and, in some cases, divorce. It can affect moods and spill over into all aspects of life—relationships with other family members, even performance in the office.

Best-selling novels and prime-time sit—coms only reinforce the idea that we’re not having sex. In the opening pages of Allison Pearson’s portrait of a frazzled working mom, “I Don’t Know How She Does It,” the novel’s heroine, Kate Reddy, carefully brushes each of her molars 20 times. She’s not fighting cavities. She’s stalling in the hopes that her husband will fall asleep and won’t try to have sex with her. (That way, she can skip a shower the next morning.) And what would Ray Romano joke about on his hit series “Everybody Loves Raymond” if he didn’t have to wheedle sex out of his TV wife? Romano, who has four kids, including 10-year-old twins, says his comedy is inspired by real life. “After kids, everything changes,” he told NEWSWEEK. “We’re having sex about every three months. If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it’s oral sex, I know it’s time to renew my driver’s license.”

Yet some couples seem to accept that sexless marriage is as much a part of modern life as traffic and e-mail. It’s a given for Ann, a 39-year-old lawyer with two kids who lives in Brooklyn. When she and her husband were first married, they had sex almost every day. Now their 5-year-old daughter comes into their bedroom every night. Pretty soon, the dog starts whining to get on the bed, too. “At 3 or 4 a.m., I kick my husband out for snoring and he ends up sleeping in my daughter’s princess twin bed with the Tinkerbell night light blinking in his face,” she says. “So how are we supposed to have sex?”

The statistical evidence would seem to show everything is fine. Married couples say they have sex 68.5 times a year, or slightly more than once a week, according to a 2002 study by the highly respected National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, and the NORC numbers haven’t changed much over the past 10 years. At least according to what people tell researchers, DINS are most likely an urban myth: working women appear to have sex just as often as their stay-at-home counterparts. And for what it’s worth, married people have 6.9 more sexual encounters a year than people who have never been married. After all, you can’t underestimate the value of having an (occasionally) willing partner conveniently located in bed next to you.

But any efforts to quantify our love lives must be taken with a shaker of salt. The problem, not surprisingly, is that people aren’t very candid about how often they have sex. Who wants to sound like a loser when he’s trying to make a contribution to social science? When pressed, nearly everyone defaults to a respectable “once or twice a week,” a benchmark that probably seeped into our collective consciousness with the 1953 Kinsey Report, a study that’s considered flawed because of its unrepresentative, volunteer sample.

“As a result, we have no idea what’s ‘normal’,” says Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist and author of “Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong.” Her best guess: three times a week during the first year of marriage, much less over time. When people believe they have permission to complain, she says, they often admit to having sex less than once a month: “And these are couples who like each other!”

In fact, the problem may be just as much perception as reality. Because we have the 100-times-a-year myth in our minds, and because there are so many movies and TV shows out there with characters who frequently have better-than-you-get sex, it’s easy to think that everybody else is having more fun. Forget the four hotties on HBO’s “Sex and the City.” Even Ruth Fisher, the frumpy, middle-aged widow on the network’s “Six Feet Under,” gets lucky week after week. Armed with birth-control pills and dog-eared copies of “The Sensuous Woman,” boomers were the front line of the sexual revolution. They practically invented guilt-free, premarital sex, and they know what they’re missing better than any previous generation in history. “Boomers are the first generation to imagine that they can have exciting monogamous sex through old age,” says Marty Klein, a marriage and sex therapist in Palo Alto, Calif. “The collision between that expectation and reality is pretty upsetting for most people.”

And sexlessness has a long and rich tradition. In Aristophanes’ bawdy play “Lysistrata,” written in 411 B.C., Spartan and Athenian women agree to withhold sex from their husbands until the two warring city-states make peace. Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway was in a sexless marriage; it’s likely Dorothea Brooke and Edward Casaubon, characters in George Eliot’s “Middlemarch,” were, too. And what about the “frigid” housewives of the 1950s?

Marriage experts say there’s no single reason we’re suddenly so unhappy with our sex lives. Many of us are depressed; last year Americans filled more than 200 million prescriptions for antidepressants. The sexual landscape may have been transformed in the last 40 years by birth control, legalized abortion and a better understanding of women’s sexuality. But women have changed, too. Since they surged into the workplace in the 1970s, their economic power has grown steadily. Women now make up 47 percent of the work force; they’re awarded 57 percent of all bachelor’s degrees. About 30 percent of working women now earn more than their husbands.

Like never before, women have the financial clout to leave their husbands if they choose. In his new book, “Mismatch: The Growing Gulf Between Women and Men,” sociologist Andrew Hacker says women are less and less inclined to stay married when they’re not emotionally satisfied. Wives say they were the driving force in 56.2 percent of divorces, according to Hacker, while men say they were the ones who wanted out only 23.3 percent of the time. When women have those kinds of choices, marital “duties” become options and the debate over how much, or how little, sex to have is fundamentally altered.

Meanwhile, families have changed. The year after the first child is born has always been a hazardous time for marriages—more divorces happen during those sleepless months than at any other time in a marriage, except for the very first year. But some researchers say parents are now obsessed with their children in a way that can be unhealthy. Kids used to go to dance class or take piano lessons once a week; now parents organize an array of activities—French classes, cello lessons and three different sports—that would make an air-traffic controller dizzy. And do you remember being a child at a restaurant with your parents and having every adult at the table focus on your happiness? No? That’s probably because you weren’t taken along.

Working parents who wish they could spend more time with their kids often compensate by dragging their brood everywhere with them. That means couples are sacrificing sleep and companionship. Parents of infants sometimes stop thinking of themselves as sexual beings altogether. Gottman recalls treating a couple with a 4-month-old; the wife was nursing. One morning the husband reached over and caressed his wife’s breast. The woman sat bolt upright in bed and said, “Those are for Jonathan.” “They laugh about it now,” Gottman says. “But you can understand why a guy might withdraw in that kind of situation.”

There’s another theme winding through popular culture and private conversations. Because let’s face it: no one is really too tired to have sex. Arguing over whether you should have sex can easily take longer than the act itself. For many couples, consciously or not, sex has become a weapon. A lot of women out there are mad. Working mothers, stay-at-home moms, even women without kids. They’re mad that their husband couldn’t find the babysitter’s home number if his life depended on it. Mad that he would never think to pick up diapers or milk on his way home. Mad that he doesn’t have to sing all the verses of “The Wheels on the Bus” while trying to blow-dry his hair. Those of us who were weaned on “Fear of Flying” or “Our Bodies, Ourselves” understand that we’re responsible for our own orgasms. But then couldn’t somebody else take responsibility for the laundry once in a while?

Researchers say women have some legitimate gripes. Most two-income couples without children divide up the household chores pretty evenly. After the kids come, however, men may be happy to play with Junior, but they actually do less around the house. Men’s contributions to household chores increased dramatically in the ’70s and ’80s, but haven’t changed much since then, according to Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins. And it isn’t just that Dad isn’t doing the dishes. Researchers say many new fathers—55 percent—actually start spending more time at work after a child is born. Experts can only speculate on why: fathers may suddenly take their role as breadwinner more seriously. Others may feel slighted by how much attention their wives lavish on the new baby.

But men are mad, too. “The big loser between job, kids and the dogs is me,” says Alex, a 35-year-old financial executive from Manhattan. “I need more sex, but that’s not the whole story. I want more time alone with my wife and I want more attention.” They may not be perfect, but most husbands today do far more around the house than their fathers would have ever dreamed of doing. They’re also more involved than ever in their children’s lives. And they want points for it, points they’re not getting.

Experts say very few women openly withhold sex. More often, lingering resentments slowly drive a wedge between partners. After two kids and 10 years of marriage, Bill, an actor in his 50s, loves his wife, Laurie (not their real names), though he’d like to have sex more often than the once or twice a month they average now. Laurie, a graphic designer in her 40s, agreed to hire a babysitter and make a standing Saturday-night date. But when Saturday rolled around, she was too tired to go out. They missed the next week’s appointment, too. She’s tired, she says, but resentful, too. “I get angry because he doesn’t help around the house enough or with the kids. He sees the groceries sit-ting on the counter. Why doesn’t he take them out of the bag and put them away? How can I get sexy when I’m ticked off all the time?”

Advice on how to stay connected, however, varies widely. Traditionally, marriage counselors have focused on bridging emotional gaps between husbands and wives, with the idea that better sex flows out of better communication. More important than a fancy meal at a restaurant (where you can still have a rip-roaring fight, of course) is to just make time to sit down and talk. The Weinreichs managed to rekindle romance after their sons, now 18 and 21, got a little older. All it really took, Maddie says, was being more committed to intimacy.

But a new breed of marriage therapists take a more action-oriented approach. Regena Thomashauer, a relationship counselor and author of “Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men,” agrees that scheduling time together is essential. Use the time to have sex, she urges. Michele and Marcelo Sandoval, 40 and 42, respectively, sought help from Thomashauer when they were expecting their first child; now they make two “dates” a week. “We call them dates,” says Marcelo, “but we know it means sex, and we make it a priority.”

Author Weiner Davis has a similar strategy: just do it. Don’t wait until you’re in the mood. And view thoughtful gestures, such as letting your spouse sleep in, as foreplay. Chris Paterson, 31, and his wife, Tara, 29, say Weiner Davis has helped them. Early in their marriage, they had sex nearly every night. But after she gave birth to their first child, Tara lost interest. Their nightly sessions became infrequent events. In addition to raising the kids, now 6 and 2, both Tara and Chris run their own businesses—she has a Web site called justformom.com and he’s a general contractor. Tara says she’s just exhausted. Chris also shoulders part of the blame. “I haven’t always been the most romantic, getting-her-in-the-mood kind of individual,” he says. Since talking to Weiner Davis and reading her book, Chris and Tara say they now have sex almost once a week, when they “try really hard.”

Most therapists do agree on one thing. You can’t force a sexy situation. There’s nothing wrong with dressing up like a cowgirl or answering the front door in “black mesh stockings, and an apron—that’s all,” a la Marabel Morgan’s 1973 classic, “Total Woman.” But if it feels silly, it won’t work. Rosemary Breslin, 45, a writer and filmmaker in New York, says she still has a great relationship with her husband, Tony Dunne. “But one of the things I ask him is, ‘Are we going to have sex in 2003 or are we shelving it to 2004?’ I asked him what he would do if I put on a black negligee, and he said he would laugh.” Maybe she should persuade him to help out a little more around the house. After all, we know there’s nothing sexier these days than a man who takes out the trash without being asked.

Tell-tale signs of a cheating wife

2008-01-07T20:55:00.002-08:00

A cheating wife does not answer her cell phone often and she tells you that it was turned on all the time. She doesn’t know what happened.

A cheating wife erases all her text messages from her cell phone on a regular basis.

A cheating wife sometimes has a cell phone you don’t know and especially if the bill arrives any other place but your house.

A cheating wife disappears for hours and says that she was shopping or she went to pick up some groceries.

A cheating wife might have a method of birth control that you haven’t discussed together about using it.

A cheating wife spends more hours than usual on the computer, especially when you are not home or late at night.

A cheating wife has an email account and she doesn’t tell you about it.

A cheating wife buys herself new lingerie, especially if it is sexier than the one she has always used.

A cheating wife stops trusting you her worries and problems.

A cheating wife gets nervous when you step into the room where she is using the computer. Changes windows, closes programs or shut down the computer among other actions.

A cheating wife invents an excuse to stop wearing her wedding ring or she starts to forget often her wedding ring after showering or sleeping.

A cheating wife starts spoiling you (Yes, this is good! Odd, but is always true) with things, actions, etc. she usually did not agree to do it before. Why is this? Well, this is the most common way to ease the guilt for a cheating wife .

A cheating wife stops complaining about things you don’t do that you know she always have complained about. It is related with the one above.

You feel a cheating wife more distant and cold every day.

Tell-tale signs of a cheating husband

2008-01-07T20:54:00.001-08:00

Cheating Husbands do not answer their cell phones often and they tell their wives that the phone was turned on all the time. They tell their wives that they doesn’t know what happened.

Cheating Husbands erase all their text messages from their cell phones on a regular basis.

Cheating Husbands have additional cell phones, especially if the bills arrive to their office.

Cheating Husbands want to try new sex techniques that you never tried before as a couple.

Cheating Husbands carry condoms, when you are taking the pill.

Cheating Husbands spend more hours than usual on their computers late at night.

Cheating Husbands get very upset if you call them to the office or ask you not to do it with an excuse.

Cheating Husbands disappear for long time and you don’t know where they are.

Cheating Husbands get nervous when you step into the room where they are using the computer. They change windows, close programs or shut down the computer immediately.

Cheating Husbands' car smells lightly like woman perfume. Men’s cars are very good place to collect evidence of cheating.

Cheating Husbands don’t want toys or child seats in their cars.

Cheating Husbands' clothes smell like a woman, to an unfamiliar perfume or have lipstick on them.

You find unknown charges on a Cheating Husband credit card statement.

"I LOVE YOU" in different languages

2008-01-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

Afrikaans : Ek is lief vir jou
Ek het jou lief

Albanian : Te dua

Amharic : Afekrishalehou

Arabic : Ana Behibak (to a male)
Ana Behibek (to a female)

Basc : Nere Maitea

Bavarian : I mog di narrisch gern

Bengali : Ami tomAy bhAlobAshi

Berber : Lakh tirikh

Bicol : Namumutan ta ka

Bulgarian : Obicham te

Cambodian : kh_nhaum soro_lahn nhee_ah
Bon sro lanh oon

Cantonese : Ngo oi ney

Catalan : T'estim (mallorcan)
T'estime (valencian)
T'estimo (catalonian)
T'estim molt (I love you a lot)

Chinese : Wo ie ni (Manderin, Cantonese)

Croatian : Volim te (most common), or
Ja te volim (less common)

Czech : miluji te

Danish : Jeg elsker dig

Dutch : Ik hou van jou

Estonian : Mina armastan sind

Esperanto : Mi amas vin

Persian (Farsi) : Tora dust midaram

Flemish : Ik zie oe geerne

Finnish : Mina" rakastan sinua

French : Je t'aime

Friesian : Ik bin fereale op dy
Ik ha^ld fan dy (Most commonly used phrase) (the ^ is above the a)

Gaelic : Ta gra agam ort German : Ich liebe Dich
I mog Di ganz arg! (Suebian: South German dialekt.)

Greek : S' ayapo Gujarati
(a dialect of India) "Tane Prem Karoo Choo" Hausa : Ina sonki

Hebrew : aNEE oHEIVET oTKHA (female to male)
aNEE oHEIV otAKH (male to female)
Ani ohev at (man to woman)
Ani ohevet atah (woman to man)

Hindi: Mein Tumse Pyar Karta Hoon Hokkien : Wa ai lu

Hopi : Nu' umi unangwa'ta

Hungarian : Szeretlek te'ged

Icelandic : ?g elska ßig

Indonesian : Saya cinta padamu
Saya Cinta Kamu
Aku tjinta padamu
Saja kasih saudari

Italian : Ti amo

Irish : taim i' ngra leat

Japanese : Kimi o ai shiteru

Kazakh : Men seny jaksy kuremyn

Kiswahili : Nakupenda

Korean : Tangsinul sarang ha yo

Kurdish : Ez te hezdikhem

Latin : Te amo
Vos amo

Lao : Khoi huk chau

Latvian : Es Tev milu

Lingala : Nalingi yo

Lithuanian: Ash miliu tave

Luo : Aheri Madrid lingo : Me molas, tronca

Malay/Indonesian : Saya cintakan awak(awak=kamu=you)
Aku sayang engkau (engkau=kamu=you) Malay : Saya cintamu
Saya sayangmu

Maltese: Inhobbok!

Mandarin : Wo ai ni

Mohawk : Konoronhkwa

Navajo : Ayor anosh'ni

Ndebele : Niyakutanda

Norwegian : Jeg elsker deg (Bokmaal)
Eg elskar deg (Nynorsk)

Pakistani : Muje se mu habbat hai

Persian : Tora dost daram

Pilipino : Mahal Kita,Iniibig Kita

Polish : Ja Cie Kocham or Kocham Cie (Pronounced Yacha kocham)

Portuguese : Eu te amo

Romanian : Te iu besc Russian : Ya lyublyu tebya
Ya vas lyublyu Scot

Gaelic : Tha gra\dh agam ort Serbian : Volim te (most common), or
Ja te volim" (less common)

Shona : Ndinokuda Sioux : Techihhila Slovak : lubim ta

Slovene : ljubim te (??????)

Spanish : Te amo

Swahili : Nakupenda

Swedish : Jag a"lskar dig

Swiss-German : Ch'ha di ga"rn

Tagalog : Mahal kita

Taiwanese : Gwa ai lee Tamil Naan Unnai

Thai : Phom Rak Khun
Ch'an Rak Khun

Tunisian : Ha eh bak

Turkish : Seni seviyorum!

Urdu : Mujhe tumse muhabbat hai

Vietnamese : Anh ye^u em (man to woman)
Em ye^u anh (woman to man)
Toi yeu em

Vlaams : Ik hou van jou

Welsh : 'Rwy'n dy garu di.
Yr wyf i yn dy garu di (chwi)

Yiddish : Ikh hob dikh lib

Zazi : Ezhele hezdege (sp?)

Zuni : Tom ho' ichema

IN LIFE, WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN...

2007-07-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came> to see the lovely > >ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A >wonderful time was had by all. > > The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown> and the groom > >was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone> could tell that the > >love they had for each other was true. > > A few months later, the wife comes to the husband> with a > >proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about> how we can > >strengthen our marriage." she offered. > > "Each of us will write a list of the things that> we find a bit > >annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk> about how we can > >fix them together and make our lives happier> together." > > The husband agreed. So each of them went to a> separate room in > >the house and thought of the things that annoyed> them about the > >other. They thought about this question for the> rest of the day and > >wrote down what they came up with. The next> morning, at the > >breakfast table, they decided that they would go> over their lists. > > "I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her> list. It had > >many items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact.> As she started > >reading the list of the little annoyances, she> noticed that tears > >were starting to appear in her husbands eyes. > > "What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband> replied, > >"keep reading your list." > > The wife continued to read until she had read all> three pages > >to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the> table and folded > >her hands over top of it. > > "Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about> the things > >on both of our lists." She said happily. > > Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything> on my list. > >I think that you are perfect the way that you are.> I don't want you > >to change anything for me. You are lovely and> wonderful and I > >wouldn't want to try and change anything about> you." > > The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of> his love for > >her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and> wept. > > > > IN LIFE, there are enough times when we are> disappointed, > >depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go> looking for them. > >We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty,> light and promise. > >Why waste time in this world looking for the bad,> disappointing or > >annoying when we can look around us, and see the> wondrous things > >before us? > > I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN we see and> praise the good > >and try our best to forget the bad. Nobody's> perfect but we can find > >perfectness in them to change the way we see them. > > * We are not trying to condone what is bad.> Correction does much, > >but encouragement does more. "The blue of heaven is> larger than the > >clouds." > > >

NATURE'S PORN

2007-07-18T11:29:00.001-07:00

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living.

You know you're a kid of the 80's in the Philippines if:

2007-07-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

1.) You have scars on your knees and elbows

2.) You owned a bike

3.) You had a barkada around your neighborhood (all of you had bikes)

4.) You loved climbing on your house's roof (and your neighbor's roof as well)

5.) You went inside an abandoned house in your neighborhood just to see what it looks like inside

6.) You ate all the aratilis in your neighborhood

7.) You plucked all the Gumamelas in the area for soap bubbles

8.) Your parents forced you to take afternoon siestas with the threat that you will not be allowed to play outside.

9.) You are never found in your house in the afternoon. You are often found playing in the street with your neighborhood friends.

10.) You loved exploring vacant lots for hidden knick-knacks

11.) You just can't resist jumping in a sand pile

12.) You know all the street games (Patintero, Agawan-base, Langit-lupa,etc.)

13.) You owned a family computer

14.) Your hand-to-eye coordination is terrific due to family computer

15.) You'd rather go outdoors in the afternoon than play family computer

16.) You gleefully boast that games today are so easy because of the character's life bar (remember when we used to play Mario? we died the minute a goomba hit us)

17.) You know this code by heart: UP-UP-DOWN-DOWN-LEFT-RIGHT-LEFT-RIGHT-B-A-B-A-START (select-start for 2 players)

18.) You owned a superhero costume (especially a superman costume)

19.) For the girls: You dressed up like Punky Brewster, Madonna, and Debbie Gibson; For the boys: You dressed up like David Hasselhoff's Knight Rider, David Bowie, or had Clarke Kent 's little bangs. And now you think that the 80's had the suckiest dress sense.

20.) You had a denim jacket

21.) You had a sticker book especially that Age of Dinosaurs sticker book.

22.) You were addicted to rainbow brite, care bears, my little pony,thundercats, bioman, voltes v, mazinger z, daimos, etc.

23.) You played pc games like tapper, moonbugs, alley cat, and prince of persia .

24.) Ms Word did not exist in your vocabulary but Wordstar did!

25.) You love 80's music even if you don't want to admit it.

26.) You've climbed up mango trees to catch salagubang, tie a sting around its neck, and let it fly around in frenzy

27.) You've spent hours in the afternoon catching tutubi...yellow-green was the easiest to catch, blue being finicky, & red being a rare breed

28.) You used to take Flintstones vitamins (which you didn't mind 'cause it was yummy) and Scott's liver oil

29.) You know the cartoon show Beverly Hills Teens

30.) You know Kuya Bodgie from Batibot

31.) You watch Uncle Bob's Lucky Seven Club

32.) You used AQUA NET to fashion ur 4-inch-high bangs.

33.) Your blouses had paddings.

34.) You owned wide-studded colorful belts.

35.) You watched some of your favorite shows on betamax or even UHF 17 (the channel from Clark Air Base - or was it Subic ?)

36.) You collected and "swapped" perfumed stationeries with your classmates and friends, but followed the unwritten rule that you never write on them.

37.) The only place you go to for summer vacation is BAGUIO !

38.) On that note, camp john hay served BEST ice cream

39.) Most of us were brought to the EDSA revolution

40.) You remember what Ricky Martin used to look like back then 41.) When you think that Julie Vega is a better actress that Judy Ann

42.) You get confused playing playstation because of all the buttons on the keypad (nintendo only had the direction pad, a & b buttons and the start & select keys )

43.) You know all the Bagets and Ninja Kids

44.) You got to ride the train ride at greenhills shopping center

45.) Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were the players at the time 46.) When you know more 80's music than the song "Buttercup"

47.) You were allowed to bathe in the rain

48.) You were taught to comb your hair one-sided

49.) You've collected matangpusa and mongo beans so you can have ammunition for sumpit

50.) You knew who madam bola and sitsiritsit and alibangbang was.

51.) Every Christmas you anticipate going to BIG Bang sa Alabang - with the giant slide.

52.) You know the Ewoks 53.) You had Mighty Kid shoes and Greg shoes.

54.) You know what Time Space Warp means (and you know who Fuma Lae-Ar is)

55.) You and your barkada had a specific Bioman name.

56.) You sucked all the nectar from the santan plant hence your mother got really pissed at you for destroying the santan plant.

57.) You played with marbles and text (yung cards ha!!!) And you count cards like this: I-SA, DALA-WA, TAT-LO, A-PAT... walo na iyon!

58.) For girls: You wore denim miniskirts with rubber shoes; For guys: You had those bitin na pantalon which you wore with high-top rubber shoes!

59.) You loved cheezels and chicakdees because of the great prizes it had (remember sticky hands, bear popups, and the stick on tattoos which were "banned" due to drugs daw?)

60.) Puffy cone still existed!!!

61.) Sosy ka if you bought a Magnolia drumstick

62.) Twin Popsies were meant to be shared with a friend.

63.) Ice Drop was the cheapest treat.

64.) You have those disney bow biters for your rubber shoes

65.) You know who Alf is.

66.) You're familiar with the show "Perfect Strangers".

67.) Idol mo si McGyver.

68.) Thats Entertainment" ang "the bomb" nung mga panahon na yun.

69.) Sikat ka kapag alam mo ang wordstar at lotus 1,2,3

70.) Six digits lang ang telephone number niyo dati.

71.) Tatlong 25 cents lang eh makakatawag ka na sa pay-phone.

72.) Cute pa si Aiza non sa Eat Bulaga.

73.) Si Amado Pineda pa ang nagbabalita ng panahon

74.) You drank Chocolate milk from the Magnolia glass bottle which you kept for holding water in your ref.

75.) Brown Cow tasted better than Hersheys!

76.) Shake Rattle and Roll 1 was the most horrifying movie for you then.

77.) The most comfortable shoes for you is still Sperry Topsiders.

78.) Dress shoes mo eh loafers pa rin.

79.) The best movies of all time are pretty in pink, breakfast club,16 candles. and some kind of wonderful

80.) You show off your pencil case which have hidden compartments that pop out at the press of a button...

81.) You have Bensia pencils which are refillable...

82.) Fiesta carnival was the place to be (kumbaga enchanted kingdom sya ng 90's)

83.) Takot kang mag-year 2000 ksi baka magunaw ang mundo.

84.) Masarap ang Goya and Serg's.

85.) Nakakasakay ka pa sa kotseng walang aircon.

86.) You know the lyrics ng "Tinapang Bangus" at "Alagang-alaga namin si Puti" ng Batibot.

87.) You know these commercials:

a. YCBIKINIBRIEF - remember this one? Ycbikinibrief / ycbikinibrief ycbikinibrief for the man who packs a wallop / YC had fashion / YC has style...

b. RA Homevision - those guys from cash and carry makati couldn't have done it better. Sports. Adventure. Cartoons. Award Winners and More. Featuring the voice talent of Frankie Evangelista. I will never forget the creepy hand at the start of the ad. Parang ET na nasa spaceship! c. Arthur's Legaspi Towers - nuff said. d. La Germania Mama Mia commercials - ditto

88.) Bumibili ka ng caramel candy, texas or bazooka bubblegum, tira-tira at tootsie roll sa tindahan

89.) Naabutan mo pa na korteng flower ang singko

90.) You're familiar with this song: si nena ay bata pa, kaya ang sabi

HEROES vol.1, episode 23: HOW TO STOP AN EXPLODING MAN

2007-05-25T03:37:00.001-07:00

HEROES Volume 1 has finally come to an end. It was not much of an ending that I expected, but it was enough to convince myself they still did great with the story.:)I expected more action... I thought Peter was really going to kick Sylar's ass big time. I thought Sylar is going to be oh-so-sorry. I even thought Sylar was really bound to die--after Hiro stabs him with his sword as Isaac predicted. And yet, it was all only to temporarily stop him! That part was quite disappointing.:(I expected more questions answered... like who is behind everything else? If it wasn't just Linderman, then who else is? How did "the company" come about? Instead they gave us more questions to wonder about... like how in the world did they know there'd be an explosion, even way before Peter got to realize his powers? What did Simone's father know? Who was he, really? Was Peter merely dreaming when he seemed to have time travelled? If it wasn't just a dream, then how come he could see Peter? They better not miss answering those questions on Volume 2--or else!;pAnd lastly, I expected more viewing time. As far as I can remember, they said it was going to be a 2-hour finale. They made it shorter, it ran just like any other episode they had--that is why a lot of questions were left unanswered, and that's why Sylar would just have to live much longer. Killing Sylar shouldn't be that easy... it should involve more action. All that would have done it if without the time restraint.;DYet who are we to complain, really? When the point of Heroes season 1 is just HOW TO STOP AN EXPLODING MAN... not how to stop a lunatic, nor how the supposed organization has ran about. It was to save the world by saving New York, and not to save the future x-men!;)Fact is HEROES is not sci-fi, it's genre is drama. So I'd say it still ended well. Never expected Nathan to make the sacrifice. Touching. Indeed, a man of meaning. And Peter... is just endearing!;pHEROES is still the best show ever!:D

SMALLVILLE season 6 episode 22: PHANTOM

2007-05-25T03:35:00.000-07:00

I so love Smallville Season 6's finale because after all the waiting, there are no more secrets and lies between CLARK & LANA. I love it because they kissed. I love it because Lana has finally decided to leave Lex!;pI dig the fact that they have well improved on the special effects department. I actually felt like I was watching a movie at the beginning of the show...w/the Martian Manhunter's attempt to save that poor man's possesed body!;)It's just funny how they have made Lionel one of the good guys now. It seems unbelievable. I mean, who could blame me after all those seasons wherein he had always been one scheming bastard--just except for Lex? He deserved the beating! What excuse could there be for all the trouble and hurt he has caused Lana & Clark when Lex doesn't even know Clark's weakness? How could Clark be indeed in trouble? damn!:(I also give credit to how Lana decided to stage her own death so that Lex wouldn't have to look for her...and of course, so that Lex will be blamed for her supposed murder! I would say it was a staged death because that milk truck couldn't make it any more obvious! Great plan, except that she would have to go unseen. But I hear she's still in season 7! I can live w/that!;DI must admit I like everything else about the plot except the revelation about Chloe's power. It wasn't just that I wished they would just let Lois die in the dam so that she won't get in the way of Clark & Lana's destiny to be together forever, her power is just absurd! Perhaps they were thinking of hitting two birds with one stone by revealing Chloe's power and at the same time letting her die since she does not exist on any one of those Superman movies anyway. But they could have done better! I mean, her tears can heal and then she gets to die? A power for one-time use only? And a tear?!? Very lame and disappointing!:(But basing on their season ender, especially w/Bizarro as Clark's new opponent, I think season 7 is going to be a blast!:)

More Ways to Know if he's Cheating

2007-04-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

This is a continuation of the first article: How do you know if he's cheating?

A word of advice: Proceed with Caution. Not all of these signs mean your man is cheating. So, before you snoop, accuse or freak out, find more information then go for the kill (that doesn't sound right) I mean confrontation.

Your man MAY BE cheating if: (source?: a lot of women I know and good 'ol common sense)

1] When they will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room. They may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes. Or they stay up to "work" on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.

2]When they begin to put distance between you or show a lack of interest in what has been the routine with few, if any, excuses.

3]When they suddenly have to work late and have all kinds of new obligations that take them away from home repeatedly or for long periods of time. Or. . . they tell you they are working longer hours and discontinue allowing you to view their paycheck or pay stubs.

When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath. I mean not just once but every time and he doesn't do this before.

4]When they have lipstick or strange hairs on their clothing or in the car. Finding strange phone numbers, receipts or condoms can also be clues. But they are very tricky now so I don't expect this to happen often (read: leaving evidence) unless he's challenged up there *wink*

5]When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excess sarcasm. They may also demonstrate an unexplained aloofness or indifference in the relationship. Or. . . they may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify the affair.

6]When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason.

7]When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship. This doesn't mean cheating right away, there could be other reasons why he's not interested.

8]When you notice that they reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection. see above for possible other reasons.

9]When the passenger seat in the car has been changed and is not in the usual position or the mileage on the car is more than usual. Also increased gas purchases that are inconsistent with the amount of miles on the car. Now this takes a keen eye.

10]When you notice credit card charges for gifts (such as florist or jewelry) that you didn't receive. When you notice an increase in ATM withdrawals. Cheating costs money! To play you must pay!

11] When they begin to make "kinky" requests or suggest wildly erotic play during sex including things you have never done before. They may also show an increased interest in sex or sexual things, including porn.

12] When they no longer want sex with you.

Why do men Cheat?

SUNSHINE

2007-04-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

SUNSHINE is about eight astronauts on their quest to save mankind by preventing the death of a star, our sun. Their mission as they say is to create a star within a star. And on their way to reach the dimming sun, they experienced a lot of drawbacks and predicaments that are preventing them to finish what they came for.

The movie was quite unique. It is not the usual save-the-world type of film wherein you have to see the suffering people on earth and see some NASA crew trying to make things happen for those on the fleet to save humanity. All you see are those 8 astronauts trying to find their way into deep shit. ;p

I like the movie in the sense that it was unpredictable, that it turned out not having the usual engine trouble dilemma nor alien encounters. Plus they really had cool gears and paraphernalia. But I should say it ended with me feeling there was something amiss. Then I realized it may be the fact that I was not moved by the story. Perhaps I was trying to find that humane side, where I can totally feel for the characters. I had a couple of shouts here and there, but no intense feelings as to what I had with DEEP IMPACT or even ARMAGEDDON (which I don't even like that much). And yet, the truth is that is what actually made this movie apart from the rest.

I know it was a sci-fi flick, but such story lines as this would better have a lot of drama to have impact. Funny how it even attempted to make you feel in the end, finally providing a scene from earth. It was supposed to be touching, yet it seemed it was all too late.

Despite of what I think may have been a better plot, there were a lot of parts in the story of what may be a true sci-fi picture should be. My hubby loved the movie and he can't even really understand why I can't say I like it that much. I guess the plot works better for guys. Or I could be the only one in the entire world feeling what's missing. ;)

DREAMGIRLS

2007-04-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

Dreamgirls is a movie musical about how tough the music industry is... that it doesn't just take talent, it takes a lot of money and a wise-ass to rise to the top.

It is quite convincing and powerful... especially when it was Jennifer Hudson's turn to take the stage and sing. And amazingly, she can also act, considering how we just knew her as an American Idol finalist. She can act! There should be no doubt why she won Oscar's Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role.

One of the highlights of the movie is, I should say, when Jennifer Hudson/Effie White sang "AND I AM TELLING U"... there, she just nailed it! I couldn't help but cry on that part. Beyonce' did well, too. She's gorgeous as ever. And she served her role right... that though she is not as good a singer as Jennifer Hudson as Effie White is, she's easier to sell to fame with her beautiful face and perfect figure. That's the reality of life.

That is also why I loved the movie. It was realistic. No fuss. I even got to like Eddie Murphy. And he can sing, too! Didn't see that coming! And Jamie Fox, I should add, truly is a brilliant actor. Everybody played their part well! I enjoyed the movie. And though it was only shown for a week here in Cebu City, Philippines, because obviously not a lot of people came to appreciate what the movie has to offer, I am rightfully saying--this really is a movie worth watching!

The 5 Richest Women Entertainers in the World (5)

2007-04-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

Celine Dion $250 million

Céline Marie Claudette Dion, OC OQ (born March 30, 1968 in Charlemagne, Quebec, Canada) is a Canadian Grammy and Juno award winning pop singer and occasional songwriter. Born to a large, impoverished family in Charlemagne, Quebec, Dion became a young star in francophone Canada after her manager and future husband, René Angélil, mortgaged his home to finance her first record. She later gained recognition in parts of Europe and Asia after she won both the 1982 Yamaha World Popular Song Festival and the 1988 Eurovision Song Contest.

The Canadian chanteuse's exclusive five-year gig at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas has vaulted her into fifth place. Dion's stationary extravaganza is more profitable than one that requires paying roadies in every major city in the world.

An estimated 140 million albums sold worldwide hasn't hurt her bottom line either; her single "My Heart Will Go On"--the theme song for the blockbuster Titanic--sold over 15 million copies alone.

Go to : 4TH Richest Woman

The 5 Richest Women Entertainers in the World (4)

2007-04-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

Madonna $325 million

Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Ritchie (born August 16, 1958), known as Madonna, is a Grammy and Golden Globe award winning American dance-pop singer-songwriter, record and film producer, dancer, actress, author and fashion icon. She is noted for her ambitious music videos and stage performances as well as using political, sexual, and religious themes in her work.

She could have easily disappeared into pop obscurity like the other frothy pop tartlets (Cyndi Lauper, Neneh Cherry) who came to fame on nascent MTV in the early 1980s. But Madonna's masterful manipulation of her image and the press, combined with an astute business sense, have crowned her as one of entertainment's wealthiest and most enduring acts. While her albums don't sell like they used to, her concerts still set attendance records all over the world, grossing $1 billion over the course of her 20-year career. The Material Girl's portfolio is also crammed with expensive items like contemporary art, real estate and a wardrobe of no small historical significance.

EARLY BEGINNINGS:

She left Michigan at the end of her sophomore year in 1978 and moved to New York City to pursue a dance career. Madonna has said:

"When I came to New York it was the first time I'd ever taken a plane, the first time I'd ever gotten a taxi-cab, the first time for everything. And I came here with $35 in my pocket. It was the bravest thing I'd ever done."

She had little money and for some time lived in squalor, working low-paying jobs including a stint at Dunkin' Donuts. She also worked as a nude model.

While performing as a dancer for the French disco artist Patrick Hernandez on his 1979 world tour, Madonna became involved with the musician Dan Gilroy, with whom she later formed her first rock band, the Breakfast Club.

Go to: 3rd Richest Woman

Back to: 5th